Spiritual retreat (Ramadan 2016) - Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed

Recommended books:
ZUBTADUL FIQH - HAZRAT ZAWAR SHAH (KITAB UL IMAAN)

KITAB UL IMAAN - MAULANA IDREES KANDHALWI

UMDATUL FIQH

IKHTALAF E UMMAT AND SIRAAT UL MUSTAQEEM- MAULANA LUDHIANWI

QASD US SABEEL 

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Sabīl is another word for path; this path of sulūk and tassawuf. Allāh swt says in Qur’ān, ‘wattabi’ sabīla man anāba ilayya...’ which means follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love). Mawlāna Ashraf rahimahullāh uses the word ‘sabīl’ since Allāh swt has also used this word. Qasd means intention; it means the intention to firmly walk on this path of tassawuf and tazkiyah. It means to desire the pleasure and qurb of your Rabb via the teachings of tassawuf and tazkiyah. For the real sālik, understand that this is a manual. Hadrat Thānwi has written a manual for the one who has a serious intent and a firm resolve, not for the one who randomly gave bay’ah, or gave bay’ah for barakah, or due to group dynamics. Maybe that was the initial intention, but now they have qasd; they have a deep and strong intention to want to travel and traverse this path to really become sālih and muttaqī once and for all. That is the purpose of this book



INTRODUCTION: The reality of tarīqat and tassawuf is to act according to sharī’ah. There is one thing called ‘ilm of sharī’ah (i.e. studying sharī’ah through fiqh, hadīth, tafsīr, kalām, ilm ul-aqā’id, usūl etc), but having knowledge of it is one thing, and then acting according to it is another. There may be people who lack the knowledge, but they have a lot of ‘amal, and there may be people who have a lot of knowledge, but lack the ‘amal. The whole purpose of tassawuf and tarīqat is to do ‘amal on sharī’ah; to practise the sharī’ah completely. There is no other objective, no other higher understanding. There is no other goal, no other ‘ilm besides that of sharī’ah. The tips, techniques and methodologies of training (asbāk, awrād, dhikr, wazā’if etc) are there to help us do ‘amal on sharī’ah. From this we realise that there is a gap between ‘ilm and ‘amal. The whole purpose of tassawuf and tarīqat is to bridge the gap between ‘ilm and ‘amal

To be a mujaddid, you must understand the society - you need to have an understanding of the ummah. Hadrat Thānwī rahimahullāh knew where the ummah was going, especially in their understanding of tassawuf - so he mentions that for a long time, there have been some misunderstandings and confusions that presented themselves regarding tassawuf. There were a lot of people who didn’t have the true understanding of tarīqat and tassawuf, so they took some customs and practices of certain saintly people; so what they did was rather than focus on how to follow sharī’ah, they just looked at the random things the Shaykh did. They took the habits, peculiarities and particularities of the Shaykh to be tassawuf. This mean they end up on some type of personality-worship type of tassawuf. So these were some things that needed to be changed. It is not enough to just dress the same as the Shaykh, or to wear the same style turban as the Shaykh – if that is all your tassawuf, it is not going to bring you on ‘amal of sharī’ah. There is no wardrobe that can bring you on the ‘amal of sharī’ah. If there was, it would become the super- hero uniform cape, that you just wear the cape, and you get some super powers – it doesn’t work like that. If you reduce tassawuf solely to some customs and practices, you won’t get the goal. Yes, no doubt, if it is sunnah, it will help us towards our goal and aim



He also says there were certain states and conditions which people thought to be tassawuf. So they thought tassawuf was about certain involuntary spiritual states and conditions. What is meant here is that it wasn’t because of their adoption of taqwā or sunnah that led to these states, but it was involuntary. So, sometimes it happens to people – you will find people in certain spiritual states of ecstasy, and they will also tell you it happened all of a sudden. These random arbitrary occurrences are experienced by some people – and yes, they aren’t lying about it, but that is also not the goal or objective of tassawuf. The aim of tassawuf was to become a person of sharī’ah, sunnah and taqwā. The problem was when a person experiences these certain spiritual ecstasies and states, they enjoy it. There is a great deception in these states. For e.g. in our Naqshbandī Silsilā, if a person experiences these states, then Imām Rabbānī rahimahullāh made it clear that are you going to be ‘Abd ul-Lutf or ‘Abd ul- Latīf? Are you going to do dhikr for the sublime pleasure of it, or for Allāh swt? Imām Rabbānī rahimahullāh also explained that these involuntary spiritual states are incidental for e.g. when you have certain medicines, it has the intended effect and also some side effects – the side effects are irrelevant. Those people who take medicine for the side effects, they’ll become addicted to the medicine like there are people who take opioids (which are to be taken for pain), but they also experience some sort of pleasure and sense of well being as these drugs affect the brain. So they become addicted to this side effect.


Many people start doing things contrary to sharī’ah just to experience these spiritual highs for e.g. they might take some intoxicants, or smoke something just to get these highs. So because they can’t get the spiritual high due to taqwā, sunnah and sharī’ah, they found another way to get it. Some people were doing things against the sharī’ah, they were breaking laws of sharī’ah, and despite this, they still got some feelings. For e.g. they may say I was twirling and dancing and I felt the love of Rasūlullāh ﷺ , or I went to Madīnah Munawwarah and I smoked hash and I felt a lot of love for Rasūlullāh ﷺ . It wasn’t wrong; they may have felt the love this way. But this deluded them to think these ghayr-shar’ī things are okay. The end doesn’t suffice the means. They used the attainment of the end to justify their means



Dreams are the one thing that will never enter your book of deeds. No matter how good a dream you see, you will not even get one good deed for it. You can see a dream that you are on Hajj with Sayyidinā Rasūlullāh ﷺ ., and after doing Hajj, you go to Multazim with him – but this dream will not even give you one good deed in your Book of Deeds. And you might see the most sinful dream (may Allāh swt protect us from nightmares), or you might see yourself doing the most sinful act in your dream, but you won’t even get one bad deed written in your Book of Deeds. This is again a delusion, and because of these delusions, people stopped doing good a’māl. So you have to check – is the person so into dreams and spiritual highs that they don’t read Qur’ān, or make istighfār, or send salawāt to Sayyidinā Rasūlullāh ﷺ . If a person consciously deliberately goes for the absence of a’māl in order to get the presence of ahwāl, then this is a big deception. We have to watch ourselves that we don’t fall into this deception. We must strive for istiqāmah in our a’māl, no matter what ahwāl we are in. There is no hāl that a person can get which makes them an exception to live a life according to sharī’ah



GUIDELINE ONE: SHARI’ĀH AND TARĪQAT 


 The definition of sulūk and tarīqat (more commonly known as tasawwuf), is that a Muslim should adorn his external and internal self with good deeds and abstain from all sins. The main objective is to please Allah subhānahu wata’ālā, and the way to go about doing this is to practice upon all the commands of sharī’ah. Some of these commands are directed at the external self such as salāh, fasting, hajj, zakāt, marriage, divorce, for the spouses to fulfil each other’s rights, taking oaths, paying the penalty for breaking an oath, business, law suits, testimony in court, bequests, dividing inheritance, greeting with salām, speech, eating, sleeping, sitting, standing, being a guest, hosting guests etc. All these laws and masā’il are referred to as Fiqh (Jurisprudence).


Other commands are directed at the internal self such as loving Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā, fearing Him, remembering Him, decreasing one’s love for the world, being pleased with the decree of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā, not being greedy, concentrating in acts of worship, fulfilling the commands of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā sincerely to please Him only, not looking down on others, not being proud or conceited, controlling one’s anger. This good character (akhlāq) is referred to as Sulūk, Tarīqat and Tasawwuf. The ‘ilm of tasawwuf and tarīqat is also part of tasawwuf, but the goal oftTasawwuf is to according to the ‘ilm. We can learn about the best ways of doing things, but are we acting according to that? Making a person do ‘amal is part of tasawwuf and tarīqat. Hadrat Thānwī rahimahullāh talks about both zāhir and bātin knowledge. ‘Ilm uz-zāhir is known as fiqh, and ‘ilm ul-bātin is known as tasawwuf.


Moreover, showing great importance to purifying the self of spiritual maladies and bad akhlāq is even more necessary due to the fact that these spiritual maladies affect the external actions. For example, if one does not have true love for Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā, it will lead to laziness with regards to salāh or he will perform rukū’ (bowing) and sujūd (prostrating) quickly, without giving it its due right, or he will become stingy due to which he will not discharge his zakāt, or he will not have the courage to perform hajj, or he will oppress others due to pride or the inability to control his anger. In short, sharī’ah and tarīqat are not two separate things. Rather, practicing upon all the external and internal commands of sharī’ah properly and completely is called tarīqat. Imām Abū Hanīfah rahimahullāh has defined Fiqh in such a way that both the external commands as well as the internal commands of sharī’ah are included in the definition



We can also understand these definitions to be different from one another, yet intertwined and inter-reliant, by means of the following example; Salāh is a separate form of worship and fasting is a separate form of worship. A man’s hand is a limb separate from his foot. The eye is one thing and the ear is another and, likewise, the heart and liver are two distinctly different and separate organs. However, in order to form a complete human being, all the limbs and body parts are needed. None of them can be isolated as important to the exclusion of the rest. The latter ‘ulamā, for pedagogical, methodological and educational purposes, they separated these two components simply to make it easy for people to get both. The human being is the summation of all the separate limbs, and similarly sharī’ah is a combination of both fiqh and tasawwuf



There are people like this who claim they no longer need to pray or fast because they’ve reached a certain rank and feel they are spiritually accomplished. They claim their bātin is pure, but their zāhir wasn’t since they are leaving compulsory acts, hence accumulating great sin. If someone’s sharī’ah is not pure, then it’s not possible for the bātin to be pure. An absence of even one sunnah is a weakness in the bātin. Every single state that the Qur’ān and Sunnah does not talk about is false. The Qur’ān and Sunnah talk about love for Allāh swt, tawakkul, tafwīd etc., but if there is some condition a person claims they are in and it isn’t mention anywhere in Qur’ān and Sunnah, then that state and ecstasy is false.

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It means there is no spirituality beyond the spirituality of Sayyidinā Rasūlullāh ﷺ - anything beyond the sunnah is false. There were many conditions and spiritual states mentioned about Nabī ﷺ – Hadrat ‘Ā’isha radiyaAllāhu ‘anhā mentions his heart was always in the state of dhikr; he was remembering Allāh swt all the time. What does this mean? It means since we are his ummah, and in the Qur’an, is mentioned;
Laqad kāna lakum fī rasūlillāhi uswatun hasanah liman kāna yarjullāha wal-yawma al-ākhirawa dhakara Allāha kathīra You have indeed in the Messenger of Allāh swt a good example to follow for anyone whose hope is in Allāh & the final Day, and who engages much in the remembrance of Allāh subhānahu wat’ālā [33:21]So what we learn is sharī’ah = tarīqat, and tarīqat is subsumed under sharī’ah. 
There is no way something could be harām in sharī’ah, and at the same time, it is halāl in tarīqat. Everything must be compliant to the sharī’ah


GUIDELINE TWO: TAWBAH 

 So before one moves forwards, one has to get rid of all the baggage that is holding them down from their past. Why is tawbah the first step? Because the purpose of this path is to act according to sharī’ah, then a person should seek repentance for all the times they violated sharī’ah

The first step is to fulfil any outstanding rights. They should particularly and especially take care of the rights they owed to other fellow slaves of Allāh swt. So you should either fulfil the rights you owe others, or if this isn’t possible, then you need to seek their forgiveness and ask them to waive the rights you owe them. Until and unless a person does this, even if they spend their whole life in worship and spiritual struggles, they will never be able to get the qurb of Allāh swt. The reason huqūq ul-‘ibād is stressed is because repenting to Allāh swt is relatively easy; it can even be instant, but if a person has a lot of problems, or outstanding issues, or sinful relations or sinful oppression, or sinful obstruction, or sinful usurping of the someone’s wealth, then it isn’t that easy to make up; it isn’t instant. Hadrat Thānwi rahimahullāh has another great book called ādāb ul-muāsharat (Etiquettes of Social Life), in which he actually specifically mentioned the etiquette of how to interact with people in every aspect of interpersonal dealings, so that you are safeguarded from ending up in this mess and doing those sins in the first place. Preventive measure is much better than trying to cure yourself once you fall into it.

 Book link to ādāb ul-muāsharat: [English] (http://ia800307.us.archive.org/16/items/EtiquettesOfSocialLifeByShaykhAshrafAliThanvir.a/EtiquettesOfSocialLifeB yShaykhAshrafAliThanvir.a.pdf) 

 The meaning and method of tawbah: 

Tawbah is not done by just saying “Tawbah, tawbah!” or “Astagfirullāh!” Rather, there are three essential elements of tawbah. The first is that one should feel remorse, regret and there should be a feeling of restlessness, sadness and grief in the heart regarding all the sins one has committed in the past. Secondly, one should actually abandon those sins immediately. Thirdly, one should have a firm resolution never to return to any of those sins again.


Sometimes, it does happen that a person returns to that sin even if they had these three things. They may have truly felt sad and regret, they immediately stopped and they had an intention never to return to this sin again, but at some point in the future, they slipped and they returned back into that sin. So what does it mean? It doesn’t mean the first tawbah was wrong; it doesn’t mean they were untrue – but it means they were weak. They weren’t strong enough yet in dīn to pull themselves out of it – so they have to make tawbah again, and they have to do more tazkiyah. They have to realise that my nafs is still stronger than me; I want out, but I cannot get out. It is just like an exam – you don’t want to fail, but if you do, you have to take it again. You can’t take it again just like that, but you have to change something about yourself. It’s called studying – you have to study more, you have to study better. Now, if someone studies more and better, and they still fail, then they could give it up, or they again could change something about themselves. They have to work even more on themselves; they have to work even harder on themselves. It is the same thing with the battle of the nafs. The failure of tawbah can sometimes be a weakness in any of the three things, or you may even have true sincerity in all three, but you may just be too weak to stay away from the sin. So, you have to make yourself stronger (this will come later in the text). There are ‘ibādāt, adhkār, extra nafl salāhs, extra fasts – there are things in the dīn to make a person stronger like for e.g. when Nabī ﷺ told the young men to fast if they cannot get married, as it will help suppress their desires.


The first essential element – feeling regret, remorse and sadness in the heart regarding all past sins – cannot be achieved without knowledge. One first needs to know which deeds are considered to be major sins and which are minor sins. He also needs to know what the repercussions of these sins are, both in this world and the hereafter. The aforementioned points can also be read in this humble servant’s book “Gunāh e be-lazzat” (Pleasureless Sins) as well as books written by other senior scholars such as “Baheshti Zewar”, “Jazā’ul-A’māl”, “Ta’līm ud-Dīn”, “Hayāt ul-Muslimīn”, “Tablīgh-e-Dīn”.

 The second essential element is the immediate abandonment of all sins. This cannot be done without courage and courage cannot be developed without spending time in the company of pious, righteous people, reading and listening to their biographies and the difficulties they went through (while treading the path of tasawwuf).

Another important thing here is that it also gives us a niyyah (an intention) for suhbah (being in good company). The intention isn’t just barakah or qurb, it isn’t just muhabbah or mahbūbiyyah. The niyyah is this – I sit by the fire, not because I want to be loved by the fire, or I want to be beloved to the fire, not because I love the fire, not just for the sake of being near to the fire, I have one reason to sit by the fire and that is that I need the heat and the warmth of the fire. If you go with the intention, you will get more. You will get more of the heat when you sit more by the heat, but if you sit out of habit, or show, or for identity, or for love and endearment, then you will get less of the heat.


Wa tawāsaw bil-haqqi wa tawāsaw bis-sabr ... and join together in the mutual teaching of truth and join together in the mutual teaching of patience' 

So you’re supposed to help one another. Sometimes by outwardly helping, you secretly get inspired. Sometimes it might happen that you realise that you have a friend who you saw on campus lowering his gaze, and he doesn’t even know that you saw him, but you silently happen to pass by and because of him, you got himmah. You got encouragement, you got motivation, and you got inspiration. You feel more shame – if he can do it, why can’t I do it?

The third essential element is to have a firm intention never to return to any of these sins again. This is within the control of each person. He can do this all the time, but courage is the key to every action. In this regard too, he will have to make an unwavering resolution that he will fulfil the commands of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā and Rasūlullāh ﷺ . Regardless of how much difficulty he has to put himself through, no matter how much harm will come to his life or wealth, no matter how much he will lose out in this world, and no matter how many people badmouth and chide him, he must promise himself that he will bear it all, but he will not stop obeying Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā and Rasūlullāh ﷺ . wata’ālā. Unless one makes an absolute and complete intention and resolve, they won’t succeed.

So what is our problem? We say we don’t want to do this sin again, but at the same time, we don’t want to lose out on ‘this’, we don’t want to lose out on ‘that’ – we try to think of some way of holding onto the benefits we were getting via those sins at the same time as leaving the sin. You have to be willing to take a hit; you have to be willing to take a fall; you have to be willing to lose the benefit; you have to be willing to lose from people; you have to be willing to go through that process; you should be willing to do whatever it takes - no matter what - to not go back to that sin.


This is a mark of the tālib sādiq (a true seeker) that they truly sincerely have this desire for Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā, that ‘O’ Allāh, I want You and I could leave everything for You; I want to be Your slave – I am willing to sacrifice anything, endure any embarrassment, tolerate any trouble just to be Yours. I have gone against You for too long, and now I am willing to do anything just to be Yours.’ You have to make this intention again and again.

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FULFILLING THE RIGHTS DUE TO OTHERS 

If you study the books mentioned above, you will learn that some sins only entail breaking the rights of Allah subhānahu wata’ālā and no human being is harmed by these sins at all. Others are such that our fellow man is harmed by our wrong doings.

The first type is called “huqūq-ullāh” (the rights of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā) and the second type is called “huqūq ul-‘ibād” (the rights of our fellow man). Huqūq-ullāh are further divided into those right, which one needs to repay (make qadhā of) such as salāh, or someone hasn’t paid his zakāt in the past and will have to calculate the outstanding amount and repay it now, or Hajj became compulsory upon someone but he still hasn’t gone, so he will have to go as soon as possible, or someone took an oath and broke it, but hasn’t paid the penalty (kaffārah) yet, so he will have to fulfil the applicable penalty.

The second type of huqūq-ullāh are such that there is no stipulated penalty in the sharī’ah, for example telling lies, breaking the commands of sharī’ah by fulfilling one’s illicit desires etc. The only way to make up for these sins is to keep on crying to Allah subhānahu wata’ālā sincerely and seeking forgiveness.It is compulsory to repay or pay the stipulated penalty for all those sins which fall into the first category of huqūq-ullāh for which there is a fixed penalty or which have to be repaid. In other words, one has to ponder deeply and make a note of all the salāh, which one has missed throughout his life and all the fasts that were not kept and then they have to be performed. If one has missed a large amount of salāh, he should start performing the missed salāh daily as he gets time and courage, and keep on doing so every day until it is complete.

Similarly, if one has not discharged zakāt for a number of years, he should estimate how much zakāt he has withheld and immediately start paying it back bit by bit.Likewise, if one did not pay sadaqat ul-fitr or do qurbānī, even though it was compulsory for him to do so, he will have to give the sadaqat ul-fitr as well as the equivalent value of the qurbānī, which he owes in charity as soon as possible. Similarly, if he broke an oath, he will have to fulfil the stipulated penalty and if he intentionally broke a compulsory fast, he will have to repeat the broken fast together with stipulated penalty for breaking it.



Similarly, one needs to pay back whichever other huqūq-ullāh have to be repaid and one has to pay the penalty for whichever of these rights have a stipulated penalty. As long as one has not repaid all these rights, merely making verbal tawbah will never suffice. All this being mentioned isn’t just for our knowledge – the point is we have to do these things as part of our tawbah. The true seeker will sit down and figure all these things out, and will start making up for all of this, one step at a time. One should also make du’ā to Allāh subhānu wata’ālā for those sins that cannot be made up and say, yā Allāh, if there was a stipulated penalty or qadhā for these sins (for e.g. lustful glances, sins related to the nafs), I would pay it, but since there isn’t, please forgive me. Maybe the kaffārah for it is that the eyes with which you glanced at someone with lust, with them very same eyes, you shed tears for Allāh’s sake, you pray Qur’ān, you look at the a’bah etc


Huqūq ul-‘ibād 

The second type of rights are those of one’s fellow man – huqūq ul-‘ibād. This type is also divided into two categories. The first is financial rights. For example, if one borrowed money from someone and hasn’t repaid him yet or one signed a contract which had a financial implication and has yet to pay it, or one has stolen money from someone else or taken a bribe from him or any other financial right for that matter, he should draw up a list of all these outstanding debts and repay them. If one can’t pay them all immediately, he should start paying them off in manageable amounts. If the debtors are still alive and one has their contact details, it is easy to repay their rights. However, if they have passed away, one should look for their heirs and hand the money over to them. However, if one still can’t find them or their heirs despite trying one’s best, the amount owed to them should be given in charity on their behalf.


If you applied for financial aid at a university and you lied, and you deliberately did not disclose all your parents assets truly, since there was no way they would have given you that financial aid, then you violated the rights of that institution. That is how much a tawbah a person should want to make – it depends how far you want to go. If somebody wasn’t eligible for zakāt, and they tried to list themselves as if they were of a lower income bracket to get some concession from zakat, then that is also a problem. If somebody lied in some way to get a scholarship, and it was an absolute clear outright lie that if the scholarship committee knew, they would have never given you that scholarship, then that is also a problem. I don’t know how far to take it – it depends how far tawbah you want to make. If a person lied in their résumé and CV to get a job based on falsely presented credentials, then one can question that salary. If a person worked in a bank, then one can question that salary.


The second category of huqūq ul-‘ibād is physical rights. For example, if one has harmed anyone verbally or physically without a reason which sharī’ah has deemed valid like swearing at someone, backbiting someone etc. it is necessary to go and ask him or her for forgiveness. If one has hit or kicked someone else, he should be prepared for that person to take revenge by telling him that he has the option of either retaliating or forgiving him.

One easy way to get these type of huqūq ul-‘ibād forgiven is that you forgive others. The more you forgive others, the easier it is for others to forgive you. If you go round trying to get others to forgive you, but you yourself have grudges in your heart, then it will be difficulty. You will find someone who may not forgive you. Our dīn teaches us the sunnah of Nabī ﷺ, ‘wal-‘āfīna ‘an in-nās – and pardon all men...’

We should forgive others – we should even forgive people even without them asking. That is what dīn teaches. That is why Nabī ﷺ told Hadrat Anas radiyAllāhu ‘anhu to take out any bad feeling for anybody that you may have morning and evening. You should make intention at least once every night before sleeping that yā Allāh, I forgive all the huqūq ul-‘ibād that anybody may have over me. Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā will make it easy for you to get forgiven by others, but you have to find them. When you find them, you don’t have to necessarily tell them what exactly you did for e.g. that “I did your ghībah at this time and this time with these these words and these these sentences, and in such and such a tone – so you can do ghībah of me if you want.” No – it doesn’t work like that. You can just generally say that if you have any rights over me or if I have any rights over you, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we forgave each other. If they give a slight nod, you are definitely forgiven. If they say ‘whatever’, maybe even then you are forgiven. Anything other than a ‘no’ is a yes. That is one view. If they are silent, even then you are forgiven. However, a more harsh and strict view is that until they actually say something or indicate somehow that they have forgiven you, only then you are forgiven.


Tawbah will not be complete until all the above-mentioned rights are paid back and settled in the explained manner. Furthermore, no matter how much effort one makes throughout his life in nafl, ibādat, dhikr, spiritual exercises etcetera, neither will it ever reach Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā, nor will he be treading the straight path until his tawbah is complete. In short, it is a precondition for the validity of one’s tawbah to either pay back all the huqūq-ullāh and huqūq ul-‘ibād he owes or have them waived and forgiven.

He doesn’t mean it wont have any effect, but it wont be able to bring you all the way to the qurb (nearness) and radā (pleasure) of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā as these outstanding huqūq ul-‘ibād will remain an impediment and a hindrance. You’ll be stuck. You keep doing the nawāfil and dhikr – and one can hope that the increased nawāfil and dhikr will increase your himmah (strength and courage) to follow up and follow through on all these tawbahs. The increased dhikr and nawāfil may make us more beloved to Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā and He may inspire the hearts of others to forgive us – so there is a connection. But this itself on its own cannot be a form of taw bah.



GUIDELINE THREE: SEEKING KNOWLEDGE OF DEEN

Once one has, in accordance with guideline two, repented sincerely from all previous sins and made a firm resolution that he will adhere to the commands of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā and Rasūlullāh ﷺ , and that he will tolerate whatever difficulty, worldly loss or taunting comes his way, it is obvious that he will not be able to do all of this without acquiring the necessary knowledge of dīn. For this reason, it is crucial for him to seek as much basic knowledge of the laws of sharī’ah and masā’il as he would need in his daily life. This can either be done by reading books or by asking the ‘ulamā. For an easy read in the Urdu language, one can refer to the books of my Shaykh, Hadrat Hakīm ul-Ummah rahimahullāh , such as “Baheshti Zewar (Heavenly Ornaments)” and “Baheshti Gohar” (Heavenly Gems)” and study them bit by bit under the supervision of the ‘ulamā, or even study them by oneself. One may also read Hadrat’s treatises “Safāi-e-Mu’āmalāt (Dirt-free Dealings)”, “Ādāb ul-Mu’āsharat (Etiquettes of Social Life)” and the third chapter of “Miftāh ul-Jannah (The Key to Jannah)”, which contain more than enough information regarding our daily religious needs. 
Book link to safāi-e-mu’āmalāt: [Urdu] http://pdf9.com/read-online-safai-muamlat-id-4825.html

 There are some basic laws you need to know based on whatever situation you are in. If you work for a company, you need to know the shar’ī masā’il on how to work in a company. If you are a husband, you need to know the shar’ī masā’il on how to be a husband. If you are a parent, you need to know the shar’ī masā’il on how to be a parent. Whatever situation you are in, you need to know what the masā’il e shar’ī regarding that situation. That is what it means by ‘according to your needs’

Whilst learning, a person must always have a firm intention to implement and practise that which they learn. Why? There are two things that prevent people from making ‘amal even if they have ‘ilm and have made the intention of tawbah. These are the nafs (desires of the soul) and the second is when you are worried about what people will say. These are two big things. How does one get out of these two things? ‘Irādah. Ultimately, it will be about a person’s willpower, firmness, determination and resolve.

 After Ramadān, the fasting and tarāwīh will go away, so start doing those a’māl, which you can continue after Ramadān. It is the istiqāmah you have on the continuing a’māl that crush the nafs. The regular medicine crushes the cancer; the regular medicine in consistent doses crushes the illness; its those regular a’māl that will crush the nafs. This is why Rasūlullāh ﷺ has said, “The best actions are those which are consistent, even if they are small.” The most beloved actions to Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā are those that you do most regularly, even if they are a few. Sometimes, we make a huge schedule for ourselves, but we can’t sustain it. Start with a few things that you do most regularly and that will have a big impact on your nafs than doing large things less regularly. Few things that you do most regularly will have more effect on the nafs, and many things less regularly will have less effect on the naps.

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GUIDELINE FOUR: THE NEED FOR A MURSHID AND HOW TO RECOGNISE A TRUE SHAYKH

One generally needs a teacher from whom one can learn the external practices of Islām as well as the masā’il regarding them. It would not be correct to learn these things without a teacher. However, there is an even greater need for a teacher from whom one can learn the internal (spiritual) practices of Islam.


For the outward ‘amal (sharī’ah), the masā’il are generally, by custom, learnt with a teacher. Without a teacher, it isn’t possible – that is because you may read something and not understand it. Even as something as basic as fiqh of tahārah and salāh, something as basic as zubdat ul-fiqh and behisiti zewar, you might misunderstand something, or you might try apply to it to a particular situation or circumstance, and you might not do this correctly. Anybody who has studied basic fiqh with a teacher will know it was much more beneficial with a teacher than going through it by yourself. For the a’māl e bātin (hayā, sabr, shukr etc), there are some states that are mandatory, and some that are actually prohibited or disliked. These are the things that are explained in tasawwuf and tarīqat. To learn these things, to acquire the knowledge of these things is, and to practise and implement it, one would need a teacher all the more. In the terminology of tasawwuf, such a teacher is known as shaykh, pīr or murshid. Shaykh and Murshid are Arabic terms, and pīr is a Persian term. Murshid comes rushd; it is an ism fā’il from the masdar ‘irshād’, which means someone who guides a person and helps a person. Guidance is Qur’ān and Sunnah. The map is the Qur’ān and Sunnah, and the shaykh is the one who helps us navigate that map, to guide us according to the map.


d. As an example, lets take ‘hasad’ – you might not know now what it is, unless you are trained to know what it is. Second is to accept you have envy inside of you - you may not be able to acknowledge that. Many times, a letter would be written about some bātinī feeling, and the student wouldn’t be sure of what it means. Sometimes a shaykh would write back that you are just fine. Sometimes the student might write he is fine, and the shaykh may reply that you aren’t. Sometimes, a person presents himself or herself as ill, and the shaykh diagnoses them as ill. Sometimes, a person presents himself or herself as healthy, and the shaykh diagnoses them as ill. Sometimes, a person presents himself or herself as ill, and the shaykh diagnoses them as healthy. Self-diagnosis is difficult. Even if someobody may understand what hasad/envy is, and they also correctly and accurately diagnose themselves, still sometimes they need help and guidance on how to get rid of that envy. If not help/guidance, then they need a push. They need to be in a system that is moving them out away from the envy. Otherwise, a lot of us can co-exist with sin.

This is the problem – the nafs is inside us, so it is easy to co-exist with sin. It has become increasingly easy over time to co-exist with sin – whether it’s the sin of envy, of lust, of greed etc. Any sin. It will co-exist with our spiritual self - with our salāh, our tilāwah, with our ‘ilm, with niqābs, with our turbans, with our sunnah – all of this can co-exist with sin. That means we are too acquainted and too comfortatble with sin. The sins are engrained in us; this means we need something external. We need some external motivation, external push, and an external force; otherwise if most of us are left to ourselves, we can sin alongside doing things in our dīn.



It is not like they’ll be able to continue practicing dīn with istiqāmāh – they’ll have some type of loss. If they misdirect their gaze regularly, surely and maybe gradually, but inescapably, they will lose something in their dīn. They might start missing salāh with jamā’ah, or they might start snapping at people. Before, they may only have had the sin of lust, and now the sin of greed shows up, although normally, they may not have been a greedy person. By temperament, they weren’t greedy at all, but the problem is they didn’t get rid of the sin of lust. It is like cancer – the cancer will spread unless it is treated. If it is not treated, it will not be contained – so this is what happens. Even if a person has understanding and diagnosis, they still need help in curing themselves from that sin.


The signs of a Shaykh-e-Kāmil 

A Shaykh-e-Kāmil is one in whom the following qualities can be found:

1. He has enough knowledge of dīn (as would allow him to fulfil his basic obligations). 

He should know at least as much knowledge as is required. Strictly speaking, being an ‘ālim of dīn is not required to be a shaykh. Two famous examples from this silsilā would be Hadrat Thānwī’s own shaykh, Hadrat Hājī Imdādullāh Muhājir Makkī rahimahullāh, and also one of his foremost khulafā, Dr ‘Abd ul-Hay ‘Ārifī rahimahullāh. Neither of them was a formally trained and certified madrasah graduate type of scholar. However, they had an understanding of Qur’ān and Sunnah. They had an understanding of what was tazkiyah, what was tawbah; they had an understanding of what was dhikr and adhkār, hence that was sufficient for them to be able to help and guide people on the path of tazkiya.

2. His aqīdah, actions and habits are all in conformity with the sharī’ah. 

Hadrat Thānwī was writing at a time when the Deoband movement was being formed, so their principles and tenets of belief, their practise and habits, it must all be according to the sharī’ah.

3. He is not greedy for the things of the dunyā and does not claim to be kāmil as this is also a branch of dunyā.

 He should not have love for money, and should not be greedy for worldly accumulation. Normally, we just understand dunyā in terms of monetary, financial, property assets and gain, but he says that one aspect of dunyā is also a claim to be perfect. A person should not claim to be kāmil, nor view themselves to be kāmil. Why? Because this is also a branch of the dunyā. What he means is that this is one aspect of fame – so dunyā isn’t just about monetary acquisition, but it is also about fame and recognition.


4. He has spent time in the company of a Shaykh-e-Kāmil himself. 

There were some people who came to Hadrat Thānwī for 10 days, for 40 days, for two weeks – there are many stories, but obviously those people were seriously already sālihīn muttaqīn, sahib-e-adab, sahib-e-‘ilm, sahib-e-tahajjud.

5. Level-headed, unprejudiced ‘ulamā and pious people, who are his contemporaries, consider him to be a good person. 

These are people who aren’t partisans – it means they are accepting of any silsilā. Hadrāt Thānwīs temperament was like this. They also should view the shaykh in a favourable light. An ‘ālim or a sufī shaykh who is not bay’ah to that person should view him to be a good person – you can consider this like a third party independent evaluation.

 6. He should have more elite followers (in other words, learned and pious people) than laymen. 

You cannot judge a shaykh based on his popularity with the masses; rather, you have to judge his acceptance amongst those who are on dīn (people who are on some level of ‘amal), and those who are of understanding, wisdom and experience (sensible people)




7. The majority of his murīds should adhere to the sharī’ah and have no desire for the dunyā.

 Those who have been murīd for some time, the majority of them should then be living a life, which is according to sharī’ah, and they should not be having desire for the world. The proof is in the pudding – if the company of the shaykh is having an effect that people who join him and spend some time, their level of ‘amal and sharī’ah goes up, and their attraction to the world goes down, then that is a sign of a kāmil shaykh.

8. He should teach and guide his murīds with all his heart and truly desire their reformation, and if he sees or hears of anything bad that they have done, he should reprimand them immediately. 

He should not leave his murīds to do as they please. The shaykh tries to train the murīd with an open dedicated heart, with the best of his efforts. The shaykh should truly desire that their islāh and tazkiyah is done – his effort, goal and dream should be to bring the students on the path of taqwā and tazkiyah.

9. One should feel that his love for Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā increases and his love for the dunyā decreases after spending just a few days in the company of this shaykh. 

By staying with him a few days, the person should feel in their heart that their love for dunyā has declined and love for Allāh has increased.

10. He should do dhikr and spiritual exercises himself, because, without a firm intention to practice, one will not benefit from what he is taught. 

The shaykh should have done the dhikr himself. He will not be able to benefit in the transmission of those teachings, which he did not practise himself. If someone possesses these qualities, don’t look at whether or not he does any karamāt (miracles), or whether or not he knows hidden or future occurrences, or whether or not his every du’ā is accepted, or whether or not he can do miraculous things with his inner power, because it is not necessary for a shaykh or walī to possess these abilities


That person who has the aforementioned signs, that is sufficient. Here, Hadrat Thānwī isn’t denying karamāt, but that is not part of the training, nor a requirement, nor is it part of the efficacy. Karamāt are those miracles given to non-anbiyā’. There is a certain but limited function and value to tawajjuh and bātinī quwwat. It is not even necessary to get this inner power. Three centuries before him, Imām Rabbānī, Mujaddid Alf Thānī wrote the same thing; even the Brahmins, Yogis and Gurus can do this. There are even stories where there was a claim a Hindu was giving tawajjuh to the speakers during a debate, and Mawlānā Saharanpurī was informed to cast tawajjuh back – and there was a battle of the tawajjuhs between the Aryahs and the Muslims meanwhile. Aryahs claimed to be monotheistic Hindus, and they used this concept to convince the Hindus to stay Hindu and not move to Christianity and Islam.So what does it mean? Hadrat Thānwī is telling you that a non-Muslim can do this.

The best I‘ve been able to understand this is let’s say for example, lets take your physical body. A non-Muslim can workout and get physical muscle strength; just like that, a non-Muslim who stays away from sin (although they don’t do it for the sake of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā) - just like a non-Muslim who gives charity, but they are atheist, and so he doesn’t do it for the sake of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā.Hadrat Thānwī rahimahullāh writes in another book that a shaykh should not give so much tawajjuh to the murīd, to the point where the murīd becomes dependent on this tawajjuh. The murīd will end up in a delusion – they will think they have ended up on some spirituality, but it isn’t their own. They will be tricked – he wasn’t suggesting that the shaykh is trying to trick the murīd, but he is saying this will end up happening without him realising. Some people feel high spiritually with tawajjuh, but then fall right back. What does it mean? Tawajjuh is only a temporary thing. Just like the jumpstart concept; the second you take off the jumper cables, the engine of the old car goes back to being the engine of the old car. It is not enough. The heightened spirituality that a person experiences due to the tawajjuh of the shaykh is a temporary short-lived thing. It is supposed to just push them to become a dhākir sālik. That was what happened classically – the murīd would got the shaykh, and spend a few days to get a boost – and then they would go make their own effort afterwards. It’s not much very different from the concept of Ramadān. In this month, Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā gives us a boost, but our problem is that we go right back to how we were in Shawwāl. What is supposed to happen was the boost of Ramadān was supposed to raise us to at least maintain us. Our spirituality wasn’t meant to go back to how it was before Ramadān. Every year Ramadān comes up to raise us, and we go flat. Every salāh raises us, and we go flat before the next one even comes.



GUIDELINE FIVE: THE PURPOSE OF PĪRĪ-MURĪDĪ 

When one finds a shaykh-e-kāmil and wishes to become his murīd, one should first understand what the objective of becoming a murīd is because people have many ulterior motives when it comes to this. Some do it so that they can perform karāmāt (miracles) or so that, through kashf, they can know things that others don’t know. From the third guideline, we have just learned that it is not even necessary for the shaykh to perform karāmāt or get kashf of unseen things that others don’t know, so where can the poor murīd ever hope for such things? Some people think that, by becoming a murīd, his shaykh is responsible for his forgiveness and that he won’t go to Jahannam on the Day of Judgment no matter how terrible the sins that he perpetrates are. This is also completely wrong. Even Rasūlullāh ﷺ told his beloved daughter, Fātimah (radiyAllāhu ‘anhā): “O’ Fātimah! Save yourself from the fire!” In other words, do good deeds (and abstain from sins).

 Some also think that the shaykh will make them kāmil by just glancing at them and that they will neither have to make any effort, nor give up any sins. Love of the shaykh, love for the shaykh, love from the shaykh, and company of the shaykh – she had all of that with the Prophet ﷺ, but he still told her that you, yourself, will have to save yourself from the Fire of Hell. This means that you will have to practise on the teachings of dīn

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If that was the case, the sahābah would not have had to do a single thing. Who can be more kāmil than Rasūlullāh ﷺ? Though there have been instances where a certain pious man has done this as a form of karāmāt, it does not mean that this karāmāt occurs all the time, nor does every walī perform this karāmāt. To have hope and think that, ‘this will happen to me’ (and thus sit back and do nothing) is a grave error. To say that one should go into an ecstatic state of spirituality, jump around making a big noise, shouting Allāhu Akbar, sins should leave on their own, the desire to sin should just disappear, that one does not have to even make an intention to do good deeds but that they should be done involuntarily, that the whisperings of shaytān and all apprehension should disappear on its own, and that one should be in a perpetual state of oblivion... although it is better than all the aforementioned opinions, it is a sign of ignorance and misinformation.


All the above-mentioned occurrences are called “kayfiyāt” and “hālāt” and are beyond the ambit of man’s control. Although these hālāt are very wonderful, they are not the objective. Something can only be an objective if it can be attained through one’s own efforts and volition. Deep reflection brings us to the conclusion that the nafs has a sinister plan behind all these desires. Upon deep analysis, it is clear it a ploy of the nafs if one wants to experience all these states and conditions. When hāl comes in, nafs knows it can stay.

When kayfiyāt come in, nafs knows it can stay. The nafs tries to divert a person to that dīn and tasawwuf which won’t affect it. Just like some of the youth at university, the nafs might divert a person to activism, conferences and late- night sessions over the problem of the ummah. The nafs knows he can have a conversation regarding the problems of the ummah until 1am, at the expense of his Fajr. What you consider separation and union (with the beloved) are both equal. To desire from Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā anything besides Him is lamentable. Wasl is the intihā of qurb (as much qurb a person can get without obviously becoming one with Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā). The poet here is saying wasl (union) and farq (separation) is your own self-made understanding – they are both actually equal to each other. All you need is for Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā to be pleased with you.

 As an example, if you spend a day in which your whole 24 hours were according to sunnah and sharī’ah, then that means you have attained the pleasure of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā. You don’t need to feel something which you deem ‘wasl’. Rather than tracking your own mythical concept on whether you have wasl or farq with Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā, you should see whether you have wisāl or firāq on the path of His pleasure. If you feel you have wasl with sharī’ah, it means you have the pleasure of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā. If you have firāq with sharī’ah, meaning you are distant from it, or you’re violating it, going against it, it means you don’t have the pleasure of Allāh subhānahu wata’āl.



Furthermore, such a person (who has the wrong understanding) will surely face one of two situations, because he will either experience these kayfiyāt or not. If he does, he will think he is kāmil, as his understanding of tasawwuf was that he has to experience these things in order to be kāmil. As a result, he will become negligent regarding taqwā and ‘ibādāt and if he does not think that he does not need ‘ibādāt, he will definitely trivialize its importance. However, if he does not experience it, he will die of depression and despair. Some say ‘my shaykh has some very good ‘amal so I will just fetch a ta’wīz from him if need be’, or ‘My shaykh’s du’ās are readily accepted so, if I have any court cases or worldly problems, I will just go to him to make du’ā for me and all my work will pan out just as I want it to’. It is as though they deify their shaykh. That is a kind of inner shirk since they were supposed to turn to Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā. They will start attributing divine help to their shaykh. Some murīds think that they will become blessed people to such an extent that others will get cured if they just blow on them or if they merely pass their hands over them. In fact, such people think that these actions and their effects constitute piety. Since this has nothing to do with piety and their intention itself is tantamount to desiring the dunyā, it is just one blunder after the next. Some think that the benefit of doing dhikr and doing spiritual exercises is that you will start to see some nūr. This is also completely erroneous and ridiculous, because, firstly, it is not necessary for one to start seeing nūr or hearing voices when he does dhikr and spiritual exercises, nor is seeing such nūr etc. the objective of dhikr and spiritual exercise. Some people want a spiritual regimen, which will result in them seeing lights and hearing voices. This isn’t necessary, nor is it the purpose of dhikr. Imām Rabbānī rahimahullāh says if you want to see lights, then you should go see a light show. Go watch a laser light show; if this is what you want, then there are better ways to get it. If you want to feel vibrations, then get an electric massager or a vibrating chair. You will never be sad since it is just dependent on a switch.



The purpose is tadhakkur, which means your heart focuses so much on the remembrance of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā that you lose all awareness other than the repetition of that name. It means you lose yourself in the dhikr. The next thing after tadhakkur is tabattul, which is that the dhikr itself leads you the remembrance of the Being named by that name. Through the dhikr of the ism (name), you get the remembrance of the Musammā (the Being named by that name). That is what Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā said in Qur’ān; Wa-dhkur-isma Rabbik, wa tabattal ilayhi tabtīlā [73:8] And remember the name of your Lord, and devote yourself to Him with complete devotion.


That is why someone people say the maqām of ihsān in salāh for ordinary people is enough to even feel the meanings of what is being said, and the meaning can transport someone to the feeling. Sometimes when you enter the feeling, this becomes in the foreground, and the meaning or the particular wording goes in the background. For example, if there is a verse regarding the fear of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā, then if you are able to feel the feeling of fear, then no doubt the wordings and the meanings brought you to that fear, but once you feel the feeling, it transcends that particular verse. The verse may have been talking about the fire of Hell, but you’re feeling absolute pure fear of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā. You’re feeling fear of sins, of Hell, of standing in front of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā – you use that verse which had one layer of meaning to go straight to the feeling, and now you are no longer bound by the words. If during that time, you happen to see a light, then what benefit would the light have, when you have got the feeling – that was the purpose! So the same thing, when a person does dhikr, the purpose is to get the feeling of the dhikr. You feel so focused – that is the feeling. Nabī ﷺ said that you should worship Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā as though you see him; that is the feeling.


Whatever ahwāl and kayfiyāt a person may get in this world, it will never be equal to the ahwāl and kayfiyāt a person will get in Jannah. So if you really still stubbornly insist you want the ahwāl and kayfiyāt, you should really want it in Jannah. There will be a certain hāl and kayfiyat a person will experience when they get the glorious vision of the beauty of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā. That delight will only be experienced if you enter Jannah. There will be a delight and pleasure in knowing Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā is pleased with us; there will be a delight and pleasure in being the beloved of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā. People often focus on the physical pleasures of Paradise, but even in terms of spiritual pleasure, raptures and ecstasies, the absolute spiritual pleasure, raptures and ecstasies are in Paradise. Our job is to get in Jannah – and that is done through the worship, obedience and remembrance of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā. The greatest barakah isn’t that your worldly problems will go away, but the greatest blessing is that Jahannam will become harām on that person. The greatest blessing is that your ākhirah problems go away. Having a worry-free worldly life is in fact impossible anyway; you can never have a worry-free worldly life, but you could have a worry-free ākhirah life.


The definition of Bay’at and Pīri-Murīdi: The reality of this relationship is that the shaykh makes the commitment to teach and explain thr dhikr, and to try to inspire and motivate the student to follow the commandements of Allāh subhānahu wata’ālā; and that the student should attest and make a firm intention to practise upon whatever he has been instructed, and to implement all the tips and practises to improve my practise on sharī’ah. By adopting and entering into this formal relationship, the benefit is that the shaykh will give more attention and be more focused to that individual. The student will take what the shaykh says more seriously. It is just like the example of the auditor and registered student; they can both listen to lessons, but when the student is formally registered, the profressor tracks him a bit more (compared to the auditor), and the student by formally registering also normally is more careful and conscientious in regards to what the professor said. If you take that to a further level, that you aren’t only a registered student, but now that professor is your supervisor/advisor/thesis supervisor too, then it goes further up. If you take him as your PhD supervisor, it goes even further up. These are formalised relationships; the more you formalise it, the more the commitment, and the more someone becomes commited, the learning takes place deeper and more. It has also been established from various ahādīth that placing one’s hand into that of another during a pledge or pact is a good thing. Accordingly, it has been mentioned in a hadīth that Rasūlullāh ﷺ would take the hands of those who wished to pledge allegiance to him into his own blessed hands. Furthermore, for ladies to hold a cloth etc. is in place of holding the hand.


If you view your shaykh to be the best shaykh in the world in an absolute way, a few problems arise. Problem 1: You may start to look down on other mashā’yikh, or other silsilas. You will end up in partisanship. Other problems: It can lead to competition, to rivalry, to ‘ujub, to arrogance etc. So relative, specific and particular to yourself, you should think that my mission of tazkiyah will be best accomplished through my shaykh, and not that my shaykh has to be the best shaykh in the whole world. If you view this statement relatively, you will get the benefit of it further cementing your relationship. To give you an example, once someone gets accepted into university, one should think that the way my university has designed this course, it is the best way for me to get my Economics degree. If you sit around, and you start searching websites, researching other universities and thinking they are better, you won’t learn well. You will be distracted and diverted from attaining your goal

Islam and Ego (Dealing with Arrogance and a hard heart)

The thing I want to talk to you about is a culture among young Muslims who go on a certain religious journey especially in Western society. A lot of times, Muslim youth live a life of..lets  just say partying..ok..and then they have an epiphany sometimes in life and they turn towards religion. A lot of youth, brothers and sisters, have this change of heart sometime in their life and they become more serious gradually about religion but then what happens is ; when they become more serious  about  religion over time , they become very SERIOUS about religion, very very serious and they find themselves, a teacher.

Sometimes that teacher is a person, sometimes that  teacher is a series of Mp3 or lectures, sometimes that teacher is a website, sometimes that teacher is a blog, sometimes that teacher is  an anonymous screen name but whatever it is, in the end they find for themselves a source that they associate as ‘THE’ authentic source for taking knowledge and when they do and they become very passionate about it, slowly what starts happening is that they become very rigid, become very tough and they notice that people around them aren’t the same way as they are. . They don’t acknowledge the same teacher that they acknowledge. They are not understanding the deen the way they understand it themselves. So what starts happening is that first they become frustrated with people around them especially their family. So the youth starts changing and the first people they become frustrated with is their own family. “Why don’t you understand?”“ This is the right way to following the religion” and there is more and more friction.

This happens even within a Muslim family. Its even more so when you are Muslim and your family is not a Muslim but certainly even within your family when your family is Muslim too but now you are kind of rediscovering religion on your own right. So this friction develops. This is not limited to the family either. What happens is that you have friends and you have always been friends but your friends didn’t take this religious journey that you did and if they did, they didn’t take the SAME journey that you did.. Their understanding is a little different or they are not as rigid about certain things as you are. They are not as tough about it as you are and it becomes harder and harder for you to tolerate that. You start questioning them a lot more and you come in contact with people that don’t see things the way you do, then you make it a point to let them know that they are wrong; that you are right. That this is the way they should do things and that there is no other way to do it etc etc. An attitude develops and especially among youth.

There are many reasons for this attitude. The youth himself/herself thinks that what they are doing is called Amr bil ma’ruf wa nahi Anil munkar. They think they are commanding the good and forbidding evil. After all they are telling their brother/ sister a Hadith or an ayat. They are doing the good thing. This is what they should be doing… This is what is going on in their head. What they don’t realize, however, is that there is something more going on, there is something else going on. You know, before you become religious, you maybe the centre of attention among your crew...You are the centre of attention and when you turn to the religion, you no longer have that but you need something still. There is an urge inside you to want to show your domination over others..There is an urge inside you.. I want to show people that I am in some way, shape or form superior and in this devious way without even realizing it most of the time, they are telling people their religious opinion while expressing their superiority. They want to make sure that the other person feels that they don’t really know the religion.

“I know the Religion, let me tell you how it is supposed to be. Let me teach you the ayah. Let me teach you the hadith. Don’t you know it’s this way, that way or the other way?”

So religion itself becomes a mean by which you promote your own ego.

Its ironic because religion was revealed so we humble ourselves. The deen came so we humble ourselves and now we are using that very deen to express our arrogance. This is not something that happens only in our youth, by the way. It happens amongst our elders too. You know Iblees? On what occasion did he refuse Allah (swt)? He refused to make sajdah right. What job was Adam (as) going to get? What high salary was Adam (as) going to receive? What promotion was Adam (as) getting that Iblees said No no no!I am more qualified for that job..What was the job? Allah (swt) created the human beings for what purpose? Worship! right? and Adam (as) was told

 inni jailo fil ardhi khalifa.

 He was going to be placed where? On the earth. And what was his responsibility? Service to Allah (swt) . It’s a religious title. In other words, I am putting it in simple terms; Adam (as) was given a religious; honor not a Worldly honor. He wasn’t given a high salary, a big house.. none of that stuff. He was given a religious honor so if you think about it, its kind of weird. Iblees was jealous of Adam (as) over a religious honor. His ego manifested because he thought he was more qualified to serve Allah’s deen than Adam (as);

 “I am more qualified in this religious capacity”.

This arrogance manifests itself when somebody says I should be President of the masjid.

“I am the right MSA president, why did they pick him??” “Why did they pick her for this test? Why didn’t they pick me??”

This is a religious task. You don’t get money when you become MSA president. You don’t get a new car when you run the masjid but yet you see across this country, people fighting tooth and nail over what? Religious titles! Who is incharge of the masjid?? Whose opinion should be heard?? WHY??

This is a disease that started where? It’s pretty old.. That virus started with Iblees. He also wanted this religious authority. At the heart of it, this is a disease and one has to identify that disease if it exists inside himself. You know when the attitude seeps inside you;

 “Thank god for me because if it wasn’t for me, these people would be soo deviant. At least I am here to set em’ straight!”

If that’s your attitude, you have got a serious problem. You REALLY have a serious problem because now you think that deen depends on whom? Yourself.. Deen doesn’t need us ; we are in need of Allah’s deen but Allah’s deen is in no need of us.

“Wallahu ghaniun hameed “. Allah (swt) is free of need.

 He doesn’t need us and we have to humble ourselves. This ego, I am talking about in a religious context but even in a family,

“If I die, who will take care of the family? Who is going to pay the bills? If I don’t do it who is going to do it?”

That thought comes in your mind right? But you know our time of death is written whether you think you need to save this much money or that much money or you need to get that promotion or you know, whatever you need to do. You think what you need to do but if Allah (swt) decides I  go tonight; if its written, its written!  And you know what, after I am gone, my kids, my wife, my husband, whoever ; Allah (swt) has already taken care of them. I should never have thought I was taking care of them to begin with. I wasn’t the one taking care of them, Allah (swt ) was and has been all along. I was deluding myself into thinking that it depends upon me, nothing depends upon me; NOTHING depends upon me!  I am not the source of any good. Allah (swt) is the source of all good.

When ego is the root problem, where does ego come from? Ego comes from the starting point when someone doesn’t truly appreciate who Allah (swt) is. When you don’t appreciate who Allah (swt) is, you replace it with an appreciation of yourself; that’s where it starts. That’s really what the root of the problem really is so the first point I wanted to make inshaAllah is that people wear the façade of the religion. They look religious, they talk religious , they have knowledge. May Allah (swt) protect us from this. This is a very serious problem. They look more practicing than the other guy who doesn’t have a beard. She looks more taqiaa’ than the other sister who doesn’t wear hijab. They look more religious from the outward but on the inside there is an ego. On the inside there is an urge to show your supremacy. You are more righteous, you are more qualified, you are in a better position than the other and in your heart if you look down upon another muslim no matter what their condition..if you look down upon another muslim, if you do that, then you have this thing inside your heart called kibr, arrogance.

We learn from the advice of Prophet Muhammad SAWW that the one who has, a mustard seed, which is basically an atom, ok? A molecule, nothing.. that much of arrogance in their heart what is not open to them ? Jannah is not open to them, Jannah is not open to them so what I am trying to say is that you have a Muslim who does bad things like you know a guy who drinks , whatever, he does some really bad stuff . His evil actions are outwardly but your evil action is what? Inwardly! On the outside you look good. You look like you are doing alright. His action is punishable for sure, you don’t think yours is?? And if you are to compare, even though nobody is condoning his behavior… which is a bigger problem that is harder to fix? Think about that!!

 His arrogance is a bigger problem to fix and you know why it is a bigger problem?? Because you can’t even see it! At least his drinking problem you can see it. You can do something to address it but this problem in here (heart ) is a hard thing to fix because it is deep down inside and the only one who can sense it is who? Yourself. Nobody can tell you it’s in there. If it’s in there its there.  We can’t judge each other. While I am giving this lecture you can’t just say:

” I can think of someone who is pretty arrogant right now who should be listening to this.”

Don’t think of anyone else. That in itself is a sign of arrogance .Who should you be thinking of? Yourself.

The counsel of religion is not for anyone else first. Who is it for first? Yourself. We become so desensitize that the counsel of Qur’an and the counsel of the great words of the Messenger SAWW, that counsel is for EVERBODY ELSE.

“Wait till I tell them what I just heard”.

Who is supposed to hear it first? Who is supposed to internalize it first? Yourself. You gotta think about that. We become very selfish, self centered and self serving when it comes to Allah’s (swt) religion. You know the husband hears a hadith regarding the rights of a wife or the rights of a husband ; what is the first thing he says,

“Hey, you know what I heard today? Let me tell you….”

The parent; what is the first ayat he tells his child??

“ Wa bil walidain ehsana”. Be the best to your parents.

 Isn’t that self serving? Are we here to serve ourselves? Is the religion here to serve our needs? Or are we here to serve Allah’s deen. This is a change of attitude. It is a completely different attitude so this is the first problem, EGO, that I wanted to bring to your attention. Something that only you can gauge in yourself. Nobody else can gauge that for you but if that’s there no matter how much good is there on outside, does it amount to anything? No because the heart is not sound and Allah (swt ) says on the Day of Judgement :

“ illa man Atallaha bi Qalbin Saleem” . None except those who come to Allah (swt) with a sound heart

 so we have to fix this thing on the inside; this ego on the inside.

Before we go to the second point, let me give you some tips on how you know you have an ego problem. Just some basic tips. If somebody corrects you and you get really offended, REALLY offended like:

“How could you say that to me bro? Why did you say that to me? Who do you think you are? Who does he think he is for correcting me like that “?

 If that is your first reaction, then you have an ego problem even if that guy is being…I don’t want to use bad language..ok , he isn’t right. He shouldn’t have said what he said to you. Your first reaction should not be who is he to talk to me? You know what your first reaction should be? Maybe, through this inappropriate comment, Allah (swt) is telling me something that I should take heed of. Maybe there is some truth in it. It may not be hundred percent truth but is it a little bit truth? Is it one percent truth or half a percent truth? Whatever of it is true, I should take it on myself. I should save myself instead of worrying who is he to talk to me that way? Don’t develop that attitude in yourself. Take the good even out of a bad advice, a nasty advice. Take the good and leave the rest. It’s ok.

If you feel the need to interject in every conversation, if you feel the need to have your opinion heard no matter what. If you get really offended that your opinion was not taken in the end. You gave your opinion, someone gave another opinion but your opinion was not the final one taken; someone else’s was and you walk away offended. You GOT AN EGO PROBLEM especially in matters of religion. The MSA, , the masjid. Some people get together, they take some shura’: “what should we do”?

 And you give your opinion, someone else gives their opinion and in the end, this shura’ is for the sake of Allah or no? When you are doing work for MSA, masjid or whatever so you gave your opinion for who’s sake? For Allah’s sake. You didn’t give it for your own sake or to serve yourself.

“Let’s see if my opinion comes out on top “.

That’s not why you gave it. If you did, then you have got a serious problem. You gave it for Allah’s sake and now if you gave it for Allah’s (swt) sake, then has it already been counted in your favor? If you did that for Allah’s (swt )sake, sincere opinion, sincere council for the sake of Allah(swt), its already counted in your favor. You got credit for it already whether the people take it or not, you already earned your credit so the fact that it’s taken or not taken is no longer meaningful to you because you already got what you wanted, you understand? But if your intention wasn’t for the sake of Allah (swt), guess what? You are going to get offended. You are going to say:

“No I gave my opinion so it will be the supreme opinion and that didn’t come out so I am offended.”

 This is an easy way to check yourself. If you felt bad, you can check yourself. You have to check yourself.  These are exercises that are difficult to engage in but we have to engage in them so the first real problem is the Hidden ego. The outward is religious and the inward is, basically, egotistical; this urge to show supremacy over others.

The second problem that’s again the outward is religious, the outward is good, the outward is knowledgeable, the outward has good speech, the outward has good clothing, everything looks like        “ this guy, man , such a good brother” ,right? The outward is great but you know what happens on the inside? The first thing was the heart became egotistical and the second problem is that the hearts became hard.

You are no longer moved by Allah’s (swt) words, you are no longer moved when you hear Qur’an. Its been a loooong time since you cried in salah, its been a looong time since your heart felt something. You hear it all the time and the thing that crosses your mind is that “I already know this. That is what crosses your mind. I don’t need to hear this, I already heard this stuff. I already know what he is going to say”. The only thing that is going on in your mind during salah is:

 ‘that qalaqala could have been a little better, that madd wasn’t long enough, that ghunnah, I don’t know about that one.”

 That’s all that’s going on in your salah. You know what that is an indication of? You have good tajweed but a tough heart. You got good tajweed right but you are not.. The words of Allah (swt) are not enough to shake you. They don’t move you like that. You just pass by them and then the knowledge keeps increasing and in the public eye , you look very devoted to the religion but in your private life, when nobody else sees you, this really evil person comes out. A person who has certain behavior, who does certain things that you would never imagine that this person would be doing those things. When you look at their peers, when you look at their public face, you would never think that this person is like that in their private life but in their private life they almost turn into someone else. When they are by themselves, they turn into someone else. Someone you wouldn’t even recognize so there is this monster inside who has these serious issues but on the outside it’s a great person. No body can fix that for you because nobody knows it exists. Its all inside you !

So the first problem is ego and the second problem is the heart that becomes hard. These are both spiritual problems, problems of the heart aren’t they? And the only one who can gauge this is who? Yourself . 

Allah (swt) says, that’s the ayah that I recited in the beginning Surah Hadeed. Allah (swt) is talking to the People of the Book and then He talks to us and says:

Alam ya’neei lilladhina Aamanoo

 “Isnt it time for people who claim to believe yet?”

An takhshaa’ quloobohum li dhikrillah

 that their hearts should be filled with awe, they should be overpowered, they should become numb. 

You know when your muscles becomes loose or weak, that’s khushu’ actually . Your muscles feel weakness in them. You feel like an overwhelming sense, an over powering feeling. Allah (swt ) says,  their heart should feel overpowered and weakened by the fear of Allah (swt ) , by the remembrance of Allah (swt) . Isn’t it time that the believers should feel like that because of remembering Allah? (swt)

Wa ma nazala min Al haqq

And isn’t it time that their hearts should feel like that for what came down from the Truth on them? What is that? What came down from the Truth. It’s Qur’an. He is referring to the Qur’an.

Then Allah (swt) gives a warning in the same ayat .

Wa la yakoono kalladhina ootul kitaba min qabl

 They better not become like those who were given the Book before them, much before them.

Fa tala alaihimul amad

A looong period passed over them . Meaning they were holding onto the Book for a loooong period of time but as they were holding onto the Book, You know when you first turn to the religion, you are very excited about it, that excitement went away and all that remained was the outer shell so what happened to those people.

Fa qasat quloobuhum

 Their hearts became hard. After a long time, religion just became routine, something they just do. Something that is just there. .It is just there and you are just doing it because you are used to doing it but its not something that moves their hearts anymore. Their hearts have become hard and once your heart becomes hard, its easy for you to become corrupt.

Therefore the next part of the ayah

Wa katheerum minhum fasiqun

Much of them are corrupt, a good number of them are actually corrupt. 

The ayah ended with the people of the Book but where did it start?

Alam ya’neei lilladhina Aamanoo

 The discussion is really about those who actually claim to Believe and how their hearts becomes hard and if that’s what you sense in yourself and no one can gauge that for you. Once again I repeat no one can gauge that for you because the only one who can gauge that for you is yourself, no one else. How humble you are before Allah (swt) , how humble you are before others. You can’t gauge that, you know, except that by yourself.

Allah (swt) says if you find yourself in a hopeless state where you feel your heart has become hard and you have developed this sort of a problem where you know , sometimes, the religious personality or the appearance of a religious personality is very intimidating. Its hard to talk to them. Its hard to be.. you are scared to be around them because you know they are going to talk down to you about something. You are afraid of them. A lot of time, sisters who wear hijab and sisters who don’t wear hijab, they cross the street and go the other way.

 “Oh, there she comes again! Hijab police!! Now she is going to tell me something, she is going to say something, make me feel bad”. Right?

 Now on one hand that’s paranoia but on the other hand sometimes, it is true. There are people who are very condescending to others. They are arrogant towards others. Tell me this; weren’t you a party animal not too long ago? And when people tried to tell you, how did you behave towards them. You forget where you came from, how far Allah (swt) brought you? People forget where they used to be and how far Allah (swt) brought them and when years later, they see someone who is a party animal, they say , “Astaghfirullah, how can it be like that.”Where were you? That guy should remind you of yourself. You were exactly like that so you should remember Allah’s favors upon you.

Wa kuntum ala shafa hufratum minan naar

” You used to be at the very edge of the fire”.

 Fa ankadakum minha

“He pulled you out of it.

 And in that same ayah Allah (swt) says,

Fa Allafa baina Qulubikum

 Right, same ayah, “ He put love in your heart “

 To have love in your heart you need to remember that you used to be at the fire’s edge yourself and you got pulled out and it was not because of you. Is that because you are a smart person and you deserve to be pulled back? Whose favor was it to you? It was Allah’s favor to you. How dare you look at someone else and think like that?

This arrogance is a horrible thing. It will wipe out all the goodness out of you. It will wipe all the goodness out of you. Most of the time our youth, who end up into heated debates about whatever, whether it is theology issue , it’s a fiqh issue, it’s a MSA presidency issue.. I don’t care what the issue is..doesn’t really matter. You know what the root problem of the debate is? Its ego .Really it’s a BIG ego, that’s all it is.

People talking about scholars like they are talking about some athlete.

“You know that guy, I don’t like what he says.”

 Excuse me!! Do you know what journey he made for Allah (swt)? Even if you disagree with him, the fact that he left his home, whoever that scholar is, and travelled half way across the World to seek knowledge and spend nights and nights and nights praying and studying. You are just going to pass a comment on him and say:

 “Ohh! I don’t like what he says, I think he is deviant.”

How dare you? What have you done? What puts you in that position to be able to say that? You know if you disagree with a Muslim and you think they are wrong, what should be your first attitude towards them?? You should you pass a verdict on them that they are headed to hell or should you genuinely be concerned for them? And if you are genuinely concerned for them, you wouldn’t talk to anybody else about them. Who would you talk to? Themselves. You would go and talk to themselves. If there was sincerity in you, you would address your concerns to them; not to anybody else. But this shows lack of sincerity; this shows ego. This shows you have got your team and you are rooting for your side and you are just going to make comments about other. That’s just immature, arrogant, egotistical; that’s what it is.

 Now if that’s the stage we have reached, we are coming a little bit to the remedies. First of all the remedy is hope itself. Hope isn’t lost. Allah (swt) in the next ayat, so beautiful !! Subhan Allah!

He says :

Ya’lamoo (you had better know) Innallaha yuhyil Arda ba’daa mau’tiha

“ You better know that, no doubt,  Allah (swt) gives life to the earth after it had died.”

Allah (swt) was talking about hearts in the previous ayah, what is He talking about now? Giving life to the earth. Allah (swt )is telling you that if Allah (swt) can give life out of the dead earth; He can give life to your heart again. Your heart can become soft again. It’s not beyond hope.

Qad bayyannal Ayat liqaumin Yaqiloon la allaqum ta’qiloon

 “We are clarifying the miraculous ayah so you can understand”.

You get the point, there is hope for you. You can get your heart cleansed , it is possible. You know Allah (swt) can bring the heart back to life so the remedies now. How do you fix yourself? How do you fix the ego problem that you have?

The first big problem that helps you cleanse the heart is the remembrance of Allah (swt) , that’s the first thing you have to address. How often do you remember Allah (swt) and remembering Allah (swt) is not just saying the cliché’ things you know. Just the adhkar that you memorize, SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar, La ila ha illallah Allah u Akbar and you do some dhikr. These are incredible adhkar. They are from the sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh) but if they are thoughtless, if you didn’t put any thought in them. If you just don’t reflect upon them, then it is not dhikr, that’s just good review. That’s all that is.

Do you know what Alhamdulillah means? “All credit goes to Allah; All Praise is for Allah (swt)”. Allah (swt) should be thanked and He should be praised for everything. So you are having a tough day, what do you say? Alhamdulillah! Not only do I thank Allah (swt) I also praise Him. Whatever is happening must be good and so good that I thank Him for it and not that I just thank Him, I also praise Him for it. What an awesome thing you did!. Despite your troubles, you say Alhamdulillah but when you mean it, its something else. Now you are really remembering Allah (swt)

This hamd of Allah (swt), giving credit to Allah (swt), what does that teach you about yourself? You think you accomplished something good, what are you supposed to say? Alhamdulillah ! Who did you actually give credit to? Allah (swt) but you do that to..somebody comes upto you and says:

“ brother, great khutbah!”You say “Alhamdulillah” (patting your back). “Yes, I know!”.That Alhamdulillah is really not Alhamdulillah. That’s more about yourself than anybody else right?

You have to learn to be uncomfortable with praise. You should be uncomfortable with praise. You should be quick to give credit immediately to Allah (swt) and at the same time, put yourself down.

“You don’t know brother, you don’t know. I don’t think you should say that. You don’t know what I am really like, Allah (swt) knows. Just make dua for me that’s it. I don’t need your praise, I need your dua. I don’t need you to thank me.”

 The other sister says, “ You are such a good sister”. No, I don’t need to hear that from you. That doesn’t help me, that really hurts me because when somebody tells me how good I am, what does that boost ? My ego! right? And that’s the biggest problem you can ever have so nobody is doing anybody a favor by praising them.

One last thing to add about humility; when someone comes and talks real nasty to you right and they are condescending to you, it’s a good way to put your ego down so they may have even done you a favor. They may think they have run over you but that maybe a message from Allah (swt), maybe that’s a gift from Allah (swt), that maybe a gift of humility. Maybe that’s what it is. This is what Ibn e Taimiyyah (r.a) used to say,”

“ When someone offends me, I think it is a gift from Allah (swt) that He is teaching me humility”. SubhanAllah ! It is a different attitude.

Then learn to serve people for the sake of Allah (swt). You know a lot of times people get burned out and this is the last thing I am going to say about religious folks especially youth. They do so much activity. They join an organization, they join a group, they join a masjid, they join whatever program and they are fired up, burning themselves out running after the programs left right left right and eventually what happens is that they get burned out. They get completely burned out and when they get burned out, they are never able to recover from that again. Keep a balance, take it easy. You don’t have to do everything in one weekend. You don’t have to do everything in one summer. Its ok. Keep it gradual, keep up with it Insha Allah.

 When you do things for the sake of Allah (swt) and you get frustrated that you are not seeing results like you know, this talk..I was invited and I said ok ok I will come Sunday night, no problem..”Why don’t I come Saturday night”?” No body is going to be here..”. “So?”I am not coming here for you. Why am I coming here? THE BIGGER REASON! You are not paying me. Who is paying me? (Finger pointed upwards)right? So if there is one person here, or a hundred people here or no one here, did I already get my credit if I had the right intention? I did ! If I had the right intention.

 Why did you come here? If you came here because your friends are coming, because you got nagged into coming, because your ride is not leaving so you are stuck here..(ha ha), then you got nothing! But if you were here and your intention was that :

“ I am going to remember Allah (swt ) tonight”, “ I am going to come closer to Allah (swt) tonight”.

 Even the wait when there was nothing going on, even did that count in your favor. Change of attitude, change of intention. It will help you sooo much in life because when you do things like you pass out the flyers and you will invite people and nobody will show up and you are like “ AAAGH! (anger) people don’t listen!!” You won’t be frustrated. You know why? Why were you passing out the flyers? Why were you sending the invitations? Where did you put the expectations with? (finger pointed upwards). Your job is the effort, His job is the results. You are not incharge of the results.

When you internalize that, life becomes so much easier. It becomes..and you become more satisfied with yourself. You don’t become frustrated, “ No there were only a few people, there could have been more”. Yes , there could have been more but that’s in the hands of Allah (swt) . Did i do my part? Did I make enough effort? That’s the only question to ask and were my efforts seriously for the sake of Allah (swt) ? That’s the question to ask.

These things I bring up because intentions are not something you make once. There was one time in your life when you made the intention you are going to serve Allahs religions, that you are going to become a better muslim. You made that intention but that intention can get rusty so you gotta keep going back.. You gotta keep fixing it and you know everyone else is thinking that your intention is strong because they only see the outside..what don’t they see? The inside! And because they see only the outside, they tell you,” You are pretty good man!!”and you start believing them too so you are only making the problem worse for yourself.

 The first remedy was remembering Allah (swt). The second remedy; find better company. Find company of people that are better than yourself. The third remedy, important remedy, Learn to keep your mouth shut. Learn to keep your mouth shut. If you see something really bad, find a humble way of giving advice to a Muslim. Think,

 “Are the words that I am going to say to them, are they going to make him even more averse to the religion or should I find some loving, soft way of slowly pulling them back without compromising on the principles but can I bring them closer to the deen.”

 Maybe change their company, maybe change of scenery, maybe if they heard a little bit of advice..You don’t want to change their behavior first, you want to change what first? Their heart! 

Once the heart changes, behavior will change automatically. Most of the time we go after peoples what? We go after their behavior. You can’t change people’s behavior. You can only remind them and hope that Allah (swt ) changes their heart. Your job is to remind right

.” Fadhakkir”..

The Messenger sees people doing shirk, people doing kufr and Allah (swt) is telling him year after year after year,

 Fadhakkir, innaka fa Atiz dhikra, Fadhakkir, innaka fa atiz dhikra         

 “Remind them, Reminder will have benefit”.

The man, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is doing dawah to the same bunch of really bad people for ten years and Allah (swt) keeps telling him; remind, its gonna happen, Remind…its gonna have benefit. You remind someone, it doesn’t have benefit, you know what you are going to say,

” I reminded him, he didn’t listen huh! That guy is not gonna benefit from reminder.”

 Look at the seerah of the Messenger (pbuh), how often does he remind? And Allah (swt) keeps telling him you may not see the benefit but is there still benefit? There is. And who is the first person who benefits from sincere reminder. The one who gives the reminder.. Who is it benefitting first? You, yourself because you are accepting that the words are coming from you but the effect will come from where? From Allah (swt) and if your words didn’t have any effect, then maybe there was something wrong with who? You.

Your first reaction shouldn’t be that there is something wrong with him. He didn’t listen to me. That’s not the first reaction. You know the Messenger (pbuh), when he gave advice to people and they didn’t listen to him, one of the thoughts that crept into the mind of Messenger (pbuh) was maybe I am not doing my job right. Maybe I could have said it better and Allah (swt)reminds him,no no no! You are doing your job right. You are doing what you are supposed to do. You just keep warning. You just keep reminding. Don’t worry about the results. Just keep doing what you are supposed to d . Do what you are supposed to do.

 Along these lines, the last ayah that came to my mind, I should share it with you because it is important in this issue Insha Allah. Two ayahs, one from Surah Shura, surah number 42 and another ayah  in which the Messenger is given advice so two ayahs.

In Surah Shura:

Wa ma tafarraqoo illa mim ba’dee ma jaaa uhum min ilm, baghwam baina hum

“They didn’t disagree with each other until after knowledge came”.

So who is disagreeing now? Knowledgable people! Knowledgable in what? Knowledgable in Science, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, what are they knowledgable in ? In religion! Knowledgable in The Book, Knowledgable in Sunnah and what are they doing after that knowledge? Falling into disagreement. Why? Allah (swt) gives reason too.

“Baghyam bai na hum” ( Out of an urge to dominate over each other).

They had this urge and they wanted to feel superior and what is this weapon by which they feel superior. Knowledge of religion. ..They turn that into a  means by which they inflate their ego. Subhan Allah  !What a horrible crime ! and its that ayah where Allah (swt) by the end, He says,

Wa lao la kalimatun sabaqat ila rabbika musamma la qudhiya baina hum

 “Had it not been that a time had been appointed for them from ahead of time,( meaning had it not been that Allah (swt) had already decided when they will be punished), their matter would have been dealt with immediately.”

They would have been punished right away. This is a high crime. This is a high crime that they are doing using deen as a weapon to disagree. Their knowledge is a weapon to disagree with each other not for any other sincere reason except, ego!. May Allah (swt) protect us from this crime especially our youth,man!

 Youth culture in this country, you are playing ball; somebody blocks your shot , what happens? In the next play, you better avenge and revive your dignity because the tribe will look down upon you right? There is this culture; How dare you against me? Its not just a sport, it’s a test of ego right.

Some body cuts you off on the road, what gets enraged? You !!  with your Honda Civic pass me  by!! Me with the M5!! No No I will show you . I will express my supremacy very very spoon. I am gonna floor you and show you how that’s done.”

 What is that a show off? Ego ! Constantly in our culture we are being sent the message, inflate your ego. It all about YOU . The song writer, the singer,

My chain, my hat , my shoes, my socks whatever..

All about me , me , me. You cant touch Me, you cant look at Me, you cant look at Me in the eye. I am going to do this to you, then I am going to do that to you. Whats this about? Whats the whole message? Ego!Worship of the self.. That’s all it is . That’s really what it boils down to. And this deen is only a deen for those who humble themselves before Allah (swt) right so that’s very very important message of this ayah.

The last ayah, Al e Imran , and especially for those who are in a position of leadership. Those of you that others look upto, those of you who know or think even, that you know more than others. Allah (swt) tells His Messenger (pbuh):

Fa bi ma rahmatim min allahi lin talahum wa lao kunta faddun azizan qalb lan fadoo min haolik

It is by the special favor and Mercy of Allah (swt) that you (pbuh) are lenient towards them (meaning the sahabah). If you were tough ( harsh of the heart, if you were stiff with them or arrogant towards them even if , you know like, rough around the edges when you talk to them, you know atern with them ) , they would have dispersed away from you

They? Who is they? The sahabah.The sahabah would have ran away from you and who is you? The Messsenger! Can you imagine the sahahba running away from the Prophet (pbuh)?Allah (swt) didn’t say if you didn’t call to the truth, they would run away, If you stop teaching them Qur’an they would run away, If you didn’t present the wahi, they would run away. What would the Messenger do that would make them run away? He is still teaching Qur’an, still giving the Truth, everything is the same .Whats the only thing that’s changed in the ayah that would make them run away? He is tough with them. He is harsh with them.. that would be enough and they would run away SubhanAllah. What a message Allah (swt) is teaching His Messenger (pbuh).

 If that’s the message to the most amazing leader, you don’t think it applies most to us? It applies enormously..if you were in any position of leadership and if I was to ask for a show of hands , don’t raise your hands; rhetorically, if I was to ask for a show of hands, how many people are in a position of leadership? You know what? All of you should be raising your hands. You are all in a position of leadership. You are all in a position where you should be able to give counsel to someone and that’s fine but how do you give that counsel? Especially if they are Muslim? Instead of making them more averse to the religion, learn to be more tolerant. Don’t justify wrong behavior, that’s not what I am saying. If you see some haram, call a spade a spade

”Look, this is haram. I am worried about you.”

There are ways of saying this right?

 “You know you are going to hell for doing that right?”That’s one way of saying it.

 “Man you should be ashamed of yourself” That’s one way of saying it.

” Bro I am really worried about you seriously. You know that’s bad and I love you man. Why do you do it? Do you need help? I mean why, really, just stop. Lets talk about it”. Sincere!!

Sincerity, it shows you know. The way you talk to people, it shows whether you are sincere or you are just trying to pass comments on them to, you know, just put them down. There is a difference. There is a difference in how you talk to them

Azillatin alil Mo’mineen

They are humble, powerless when they present themselves to Believers.

That’s the attitude in Qur’an but then finally how do you know for sure you are sincere? Its in the ayah and we are done. That same ayah:

Fa’foo anhum fas taghfir lahum wa shawirhum fil amr

After they mess up and you are lenient towards them, if they mess up, number one, forgive them lovingly. Fa fu anhum.

Then ask Allah (swt) to forgive them You know asking Allah to forgive them is not.. you know some brother does something and you say:

“ hey by the way may Allah (swt) forgive you”

That’s not fastaghfir lahum. When should you ask Allah to forgive them? When you are asking Allah to forgive yourself , in private because private dua is what? Sincere. That’s sincere. In front of everyone..

”By the way brother you are pretty messed up but may Allah (swt) forgive you. I will make dua for you”

 That’s not what the ayah says. That’s actually a show of what? Arrrogance, ego. Make sincere dua for them in private, fastaghfir la hum

And to make them feel like you think of them as a decent person, wa shawir hum fil amr. Consult them, take their opinion. Ask their opinion. Treat them like a decent person. The Messenger SAWW doesn’t need anybody’s shura. He makes decisions based on Revelation but Allah (swt) commanded him to consult them in decision making. Why? So they would feel what? Included, dignified. This is the characteristics of a leader right? He makes those who are under him feel dignified

Wa shawirhum fil ardh fa iza azamta fa tawakkal al Allah

 When you make a decision, place your trust in Allah (swt) because your decision is not the key to success. It is Allah (swt) that’s the key to success.

Inn Allaha yuhibbul mutawakkileen

Allahumma ja’alna minal Mutawakkileen

 May Allah (swt) make us those who place our trust in Allah (swt) and not allow our hearts to become hard.

May Allah (swt) make us a people sincerely of dhikr to Allah (swt)

May Allah (swt) grant us the gift of better company than ourselves that keeps our ego in check.

 May Allah (swt ) give us the ability to give advice to those around us, the people of La ilaha illAllah, the people who share this wonderful kalimah with us are more beloved to us , closer to us than even the bond of blood. La ila ha illallah brings us closer than the bond of blood .

 May Allah (swt ) make us share that love and affection and humility with the other muslims and show them that sincerity from the bottom of our heart.

May Allah (swt) penetrate good advice into the hearts of those who need it.

 May Allah (swt)make us capable of taking advice and taking the best of it and not allowing the advice to become a means by which our egos are inflated.

 May Allah (swt) keep us humble before Him, forgive our shortcomings that have occurred in the past.

 May Allah (swt), from here on, make us of those whose hearts are perpetually being cleansed and finally I ask Allah (swt) to accept all of our gatherings including this one and to accept, you know ,all of our good deeds and the acts of worship that we do for Him with all their short comings and all of our flaws, even our salah, our wudhu, our dua and all of the shortcomings aside.

 May Allah (swt) accept whatever patchwork we do. May Allah (swt) just overlook all of our shortcomings and just accept from all of us.

Rabbana taqabbal minna innaka antas same ul aleem wa tub alaina , innaka anta Tawaabu raheem wa Sallalahu Ta’al Ala khairee khalqihi wa Alihee Wa ashabihee Ajmaeen birahmatika Ya Arham Arahimeen