Fighting Envy - Purification of the Heart!

“Or do these people envy what Allah has Bestowed upon them from His Bounty”

(An-Nisa: 54)

DEFINITION OF HASAD

ž  Hasad is a negative feeling that arises when someone dislikes that someone else receives some blessing. And they want - the second part of this is very important - and they want that that blessing is removed from that person. That that person loses out, gets mehroom (deprived) of that blessing, they want some blessing to be taken away from that person

ž  This Blessing/Naimath can be; 

            1)  Materialistic Bounty

            2)  Religious/spiritual blessing.

And this blessing, nai’mat can be anything. Money, status and fame are not the only possibilities.This can be a materialistic blessing or bounty like wealth, looks, intelligence, what college a person went to, health, kids - sometimes older people look at who is number one in the class, who is the second, who got admitted to a good college or school and who didn’t. People are then jealous due to these things.

It can also be religious. And this is more insidious. Because we may not consider it as hasad but maybe a person - and this happens a lot - This is a disease from which even very virtuous people are not safe. That when a person has hasad with somebody who has more knowledge. They have hasad with someone who prays more than them. They have hasad from somebody who gets up for tahajjud, for somebody who gives better dars than them, better talks than them. They might have hasad for someone whose classes are more popular and everyone goes to their classes.

So hasad is something that even high level people in Islam and iman and who are maybe even working for the deen, even they are not easily saved from this disease.

Relation between takkabur and hasad: one follows the other

There is a very close attachment between takkabur and hasad and sometimes one comes first, takkabur or hasad, and one comes second.

Most scholars say that takabbur comes first and then it leads to hasad. It is manifested through hasad.

Verses from Qur’an:

There is a verse in the Quran where Allah says:

“Or do these people envy what Allah has Bestowed upon them from His Bounty”

(An-Nisa: 54)

           

Thus, people envy others over Allah’s bounty and blessings.

And in the famous surah, Surah al Falaq it comes that:

“[I seek refuge in Allah] from the envier when he envies” (al falaq: 5)

This is something that we have to seek refuge in Allah Ta’la and it is a bad trait.

Hasad: the first sin committed in the heaven and earth

 Jealousy/Envy, scholars say that this is the first sin that was committed in the sky and also the first one to be committed on the earth

Example of Iblis (heaven) and Adam’s children (earth)

Satan was the first one to do takkabur/Satan, first of all, did takkabur. And he said that: ‘I am better than Adam AS’.

And when he said that ‘I am better  than Adam AS’ the reason that led to him saying this was: ‘I should have received this bounty, this blessing, this izzat (respect), not Adam AS’.

So actually in the background what actually led to it was hasad. So the first sin that was committed in the asman (sky) was hasad; And Adam AS’s children Habil and Qabil’s incident also occurred due to jealousy: when Qabiil killed Habiil out of envy that  why did he get to marry the wife that qabiil wanted to marry.

So envy was the first sin to be committed in both places.

Hasad: a common problem, and usually directed towards certain people

So hasad is a problem that is very common amongst a family; Hasad exists between siblings. It may also exist between two sisters, friends, in the workplace, in the classroom, in every setting. This is a very common problem.

And usually hasad is not a general problem. It is a problem you have with one, two, three people, right. So even if you think you do not have hasad there may be one person in your life, if you are lucky, and a few people, if you are not so lucky, that you have this problem with. So as we are doing this,  think honestly about that particular person,who ever it is for each of us. How do you feel about that person? Do you have these feelings? Do you have this negativity towards this person??

Higher status invites more hasad from others; example of Prophets and Ulema

And the higher a person’s status is in life, the more the people who feel hasad towards that person. And this is something you see amongst the people in the past.

The Prophet (s.a.w) had the most haasidin. The haasideen included the non believers, the jews, as well as the hypocrites - a lot of haasidin. To the extent that Allah revealed Surah Al Nas and surah al Falaq for the Prophet SAW because of the haasidin.

Imam Abu Hanifa had a lot of haasidin; people who would publicly insult him, publicly say bad things about him and criticize him, make up rumors. To the extent that extremely jealous people would even resort to libel and worse.

Hasad: a root for other sins

Hasad is such a deep disease, it’s like anger, it is a very motivational force to commit other sins. It is a root sin and it leads to and is manifested in many other ways. Some scholars say:

            ‘Hasad aisa zakhm hai jo kabhi nahi bharta.’

(Hasad is such a wound that never heals).

And the haasid, the person who feels hasad, is only raazi (satisfied) when a nai’mat is taken away. You may satisfy other people with some other form of compensation but a haasid will only be satisfied with one thing: the removal of that bounty from the person in question. That is how strong hasad is.

So this definition of hasad is a general definition and includes materialistic things as well as spiritual - anything. Attention - sometimes people have hasad over attention: ‘how come that girl gets more attention than me’. Among siblings, this is a cause for sibling rivalry, when one child gets more attention than the other. That leads to hasad.

Hasad_A double edged sword!

So most people who have studied Islamic psychology or spirituality would say that hasad is an emotional feeling. This is a natural feeling that comes in our heart. It is common, it is natural, and it is uncontrollable.

Sometimes it comes all by itself, and you can’t control it.

But how you react to it depends. And actually hasad is a double edged sword.  We discussed this in the beginning that there are some negative feelings, diseases of the heart which, if used correctly, can be taken in a positive direction. So hasad is something that if you act upon this feeling - its haram. It is a major sin and so haram

And if you act against it, we’ll talk about it later in the remedies section about how you can act against it. But if you act against it, then you are going against your nafs and you will be rewarded and will also be successful.

So actually it is a double edged sword.

If we act upon it, they do something, we say something, we increase this feeling - sometimes we consciously, deliberately allow the feeling of hasad to increase within ourselves)- if we do this, it will be a sin and spiritually  devastating for us.

Or if we have this feeling but right in the beginning we nip it in the bud and try to act counter to it, then it will be a means of sawab and spiritual growth.

From the Qur’an: who did hasad? Iblis and bani Israel

In the Qur’an, hasad is mentioned: who did hasad with the muslims? And who did hasad with the Prophet SAW?

1.       First of all as mentioned, Iblis did it, he had hasad towards Adam AS.

2.      Second group of people who are mentioned in the Qur’an are the bani Israel.
Bani Israel, they were waiting for the last prophet to come, to the extent that they were also given signs.
They were told that when the prophet will be about to be born there will be a red star in the sky. A shining, a new star will come in the sky.
So when they saw the star the jews of Madina got very excited. They started checking which of their women were pregnant. And they found that their women were pregnant but no one was about to deliver. So they wondered who it could be. So they thought that maybe it’s someone in Makkah. So they sent someone to Makkah.  And they found that only one woman is hamila and that was Amina. So that is when their hasad started. That how can it be that, and it comes in the Qur’an that jews used to say about themselves that ‘we are the chosen people’. They used to say that, naozubillah, we are the children of Allah and beloved to Him, hibbihi. We are the selected people. So they had this takkabur and that led, you can see step two of takkabur, that led to hasad. That how can it be that this nabuwwat is not in our people and is sent to this other people, the Arabs. So, this comes about the Bani Israel, how much hasad they had.

And in hadith the Prophet SAW said about the jews that they only have hasad for your Islam.
That why do we believe. And this is also strange that Islam is also a cause for hasad. So sometimes a person can have hasad just because of din, and this is what the jews did.

3.      Another person mention in the Qur’an in Firaun. Firaun had hasad towards Musa(AS). How could it be that Musa AS who is from the bani Israel, who is from the slave group - they were enslaved people, lower group - how could it be that he got nabuwwat(Prophethood). And how come he is coming and telling Firaun how to accept Islam, and how to become a better person. So Firaun also did takkabur, then he did hasad. So the second step after takkabur is usually hasad.

4.      mushrikin haD the same thing. Mushrikin also, when the Prophet SAW announced his nabuwwat, their greatest issue was that okay, if he is a real prophet, why didn’t Allah pick somebody better to be a prophet. They used to say this: Why not Someone from the elite, the higher classes, from amongst the leaders. It comes in the Qur’an that they used to say that: ‘If only the Qur’an had come down to a great man of either of the two cities‘, meaning Makkah and Taif. That why a leader, sayyid or elite of these cities was not given the Qur’an, why was it the Prophet SAW.
So they also had hasad.
And if you see in all these three categories there is takkabur and then there is hasad, and what did it lead them to? It led them to

1. Not accepting hidayah

2. Not changing their ways

3. And it led them to being mardud (rejected in the Court of Allah swt), to their downfall.

So if you see the history of the haasidin, the ending is not good. It’s a sad ending for all of them. Like the mutakabbirin have a sad ending, in the same way the haasidin also have a sad ending. So actually hasad is a very dangerous thing. Various people with so much potential, with so much intelligence, so many nai’mats, Allah has given them so many good things in life to do shukr of, but instead of doing shukr they do hasad for the one thing they do not have and someone else gets it. And that leads to a person’s downfall.

Ahadith-e-Mubarakah about Hasad:

ž  “Stay away from hasad.  For hasad eats up good deeds like fire eats up wood.” (Abu Dawud)

It ruins our deeds, it eats up our deeds. Our good deeds are finished when we have hasad towards somebody.

Three ways whereby good deeds are wasted

There are three ways in which a person’s good deeds can be wasted. Two are mentioned in the Quran and one is mentioned in hadith.

1)Shirk destroys good deeds

 Allah says in the Qur’an that a person who does shirk, all his good deeds are wasted. It does not matter what they did. It does not matter whether they were the highest humanitarian person in the world and they did all the good deeds in the world. Their shirk will eat up their good deeds, will finish their good deeds.

2)Gustaakhi/Lack of Adab towards the Prophet (s.a.w)

 Another verse comes in Surah Hujarat that those people who are be-adab/disrespectful towards the Prophet SAW have their deeds get wasted without them knowing or realizing it. So being be-adab towards the Prophet, and this can be understood in different ways in this day and age, which we will not go into detail, but which can eat up the person’s good deeds without them realizing it.

3)Hasad

And the third category is hasad. Hasad is equivalent, if we look at it in terms of its effects, it is equivalent to shirk and it is equivalent to doing gustaakhi to the Prophet SAW. If we look at that, it’s pretty high level sin. Hasad is not a small insignificant disease! It is a big sin!

In another hadith the Prophet (s.a.w)said:

ž   “Do not do hasad with one another.”  (Muslim and Bukhari)

Hasad is usually two way

And it’s interesting to know, for people who are doing Arabic: la Haasid is bab-e-mufa’ala. It involves two sides.And usually in hasad – it’s really interesting, working on this side of the picture now, sometimes, you see now that often if one person has hasad its usually two way. If you feel hasad towards someone then it is most likely that they feel hasad towards you.

Hasad is not one sided. And it’s strange that somebody will say I have bad feelings, I have hasad for this person and the other person will say the same thing about this person.

And it’s just that, being on this side you can’t tell them, but you can laugh to yourself that how strange is Allah’s arrangement - no one is happy. Everyone is unhappy that that person has this and the other person is unhappy that that person has something else. So a person is never satisfied. They say that ‘the grass is greener on the other side.’

So hasad is something that is usually two way.

Sometimes people ask ‘what if someone has hasad towards us?’

So it maybe that you also have hasad towards them, and the best way is - it’s a two way street and if you try to end it from your side most likely it will end from theirs. So it’s kind of a two dimensional relationship. You try to reduce it from your side, try to rectify the situation - we will talk about that towards the end ,then it might end from the other person’s side as well.

Another, not a very well known, hadith in which the Prophet (s.a.w) said:

ž  “If people did not do hasad with one another, their bounties would never end.”

           

So hasad does not only eat up your good deeds; it also eats up your nai’mat (bounties).

What ends up happening is that the haasid does not want another person to have something; that does not happen, but what ends up happening is that the bounties that they had are taken away. Their potentials, their whole focus is on - sometimes it becomes such an obsessive compulsive thing, their whole focus is on another person. They themselves miss out on other opportunities, on other things in life because their hasad eats them up. It eats up their whole personality, it eats up their time. So if a person does not do hasad the Prophet (s.a.w) said their bounties will never end. So this is one way.

Connection between hasad and shukr

There is another verse in the Qur’an that if a person wants to keep their bounties, they should be thankful to AllahThe one who is thankful to Allah for whatever he gets and has, his bounties are not depleted.

And not doing hasad also leads to bounties not being wasted.

So there is a connection: The one who is thankful is not jealous of other’s blessings, and similarly the one who does hasad is not grateful. They have a lack of gratitude. So hasad actually shows ingratitude. Hasad shows a lack of shukr.

Rashk: the ‘good’ type of hasad

Hasad has a good type too, and it is called rashk. This has almost the same definition, only a slight difference: This is when Allah has bestowed a bounty on someone, you do not have that nai’mat but you wish you had it. You look at someone and think: she is so virtuous, consistent in her deeds, prays tahajjud, she is so generous, she is so knowledgeable, she has so much knowledge of the Qur’an, I wish I had all of this too. You wish you had it but you do not wish for it to be taken away from her. This is known as ghibta in Arabic and rashk in Urdu.

Hadith: envy is acceptable towards two kinds of people only

There is a hadith regarding this. The Prophet (s.a.w) said;

ž  Hadith:  “There is no acceptable envy except for two people.  One who has wealth and spends it towards good causes.  The other is one who has wisdom and teaches it to others.”

The word used for envy here is ghibta.

1. That person who has wealth and spends it towards good causes.

Meaning if you see someone who has money, more money than you have and they use it for good deeds and you think in your heart that I wish I also had this much money, then I would have also spent it on noble causes. I would also give it to the poor, I would start a dispensary, I would start a hospital, I will start a madrasah.

If you think like that then one, this will be rashk, not hasad and secondly, this rashk itself will be counted as a good deed due to your intention even if you never acted upon it because you didn’t have the means but as long as you have the intention in your heart you will be rewarded for it.

This is veery easy to do, a very easy way to earn some sawab!

2. Another person is that person who has wisdom and teaches it to others.

This is also acceptable. That you have a desire that ‘I wish I had that much wisdom, I wish I had that much knowledge, if I had as much then I would also teach it’.

So, in these two kinds of people, it is acceptable for a person to have rashk, this type of envy.

Methods for determining hasad

How do you realize - everyone would say, we don’t have hasad in us .We generally think that we do not feel hasad, and normally this is the case. But every now and then, it does happen

How can you notice it?

1)      See what you feel.

Hasad: a feeling in your heart

This is a feeling you have in your heart . You can just check your heart. It’s very easy. There’s a pinching feeling, something in the heart; something that what am I feeling, how am I feeling - and you can classify it that this is hasad. I am feeling hasad towards this person for this reason.

Imam Abu Hanifa said:

            ‘The heart is such a mufti that will never give a wrong fatwa.’

 It will tell you what you are feeling and why are you feeling it. You may not admit it with tongue but your heart will tell you the truth.

Do you feel….

▪Agitated and unhappy feeling when you see someone else, or when you see this particular person doing well in any area?

She got higher marks in some subject, she got praise for something. So you feel unhappy. You might be smiling on the outside, you might say ‘Mubarak bad’ (congratulations) on the outside but inside you are feeling bitter about it.

So this is a sign that you are feeling hasad towards that person.

▪ happy when you see that person in a difficulty?

You feel happy when that person is facing some hardship and difficulty.

And this is a problem people have that they find out that someone is facing some trouble and they say ‘oh I am really sorry to hear this, I feel really bad’but inside they are feeling pleased about it, that she got what she deserved. So this is a sign of hasad: that a person is feeling happy seeing someone in a difficult situation.

▪ that person doesn’t deserve that blessing/attention and you deserve it?

And sometime one may even say it out loud to other people that that person does not deserve it, that person is not worth it. And inside you are saying ‘I deserve it, I am worth it’. This is also a sign of hasad. This feeling that how did it come about that that person got a certain thing; how did that person get praise, status, respect. And this is indirectly showing that you are feeling hasad.

2)      Be attentive to your own words

The tongue relays a person’s spiritual diseases via his speech

Whenever you say anything, whatever you say, a person only needs to read between the lines to figure out their state, their intention behind those words. Like a doctor asks a person when they are sick, ‘show me your tongue’. A doctor looks at the sick person’s tongue. Doctors have their own way of checking, diagnosing a sickness by looking at the sick person’s tongue. Similarly, a spiritual doctor also understands the disease via the tongue: that is, a person’s speech. They infer from a person’s speech whether the person is feeling takkabur, hasad, and other spiritual diseases.

So a person is hidden underneath their words. A person’s bimaariyan (diseases) are hidden underneath their words. Their mizaaj, their personality problems - things come out: The way you speak, the way you act. You say something, the person makes a face. Okay, you make a note: this person made a face when I said this; it indicates something. Our brains are automatically processing - so many different neurons - that she said this, she said that in this manner - and you think that the other person is just listening to you. The other person is smiling, but they understand everything you are saying and they are reading between the lines. And their checklist is working at the back of their mind, that these are the problems that this person has.

Tongue relays the feelings in the heart and being attentive to our words we can understand our problems

So we should be attentive to what we say and how we say it. If we are attentive to our own words then we will understand what problems we have. Because the tongue is just  relaying what is in the heart.

 A wise person said: our heart is like a platter and our tongue is like a spoon.

So whatever is in our heart, whatever is inside of us, will come out through our tongue. Whether we are angry, whether we are saying things out of hasad, whether we are saying things out of takkabur, all will be hidden in our words.

3)      Check: Are you always attentive to anything said about that person?

They say that the haasid does not have eyes but his ears are very sharp i.e they are always attentive. When that person’s name is taken, their eyes become like antennas and they try to determine what is being said about that person. Even if they are talking to someone else their attention will be engaged towards that other conversation).
So this is a sign of hasad. Why are you so interested in whether that person is being praised or criticized? This shows that you have some type of bad feeling, some type of hasad towards that person.

4)      Do you dislike hearing praise about that person, or even get angry when you do?

Another thing is that you dislike hearing praise about that person. Hearing that person‘s praise displeases you and makes you angry and you refute it; you get upset that why is she being praised.

5)      Do you engage in negative talk about that person, i.e. destructive criticism and backbiting?

The haasid‘s tongue relays the hasad. They engage in negative talk about that person: criticism, backbiting and ghibat. So they will criticize that person but it will not be constructive criticism, it will be destructive. In front of the person they will do it in a manner so that they seem like well wishers but they will say some kalam, some words, to hurt their heart, their feelings.

So they will criticize that person and behind their back they will do ghibat. We do not do ghibat of the person we love! We do not do ghibat of the person we like; we do ghibat of the people that we have hasad with. We do ghibat of the people that we have nafrat with (we backbite the people who we hate and dislike).

So who we do ghibat of is a big indication of who we have hasad with.

6)      Do you never admit any wrongdoing on your part, and avoid saying sorry?

They will never want to say sorry. And this is a big indication. This includes both takkabur as well as hasad.
So hasad is very much a manifestation, an izhar, of takkabur.

CAUSES OF HASAD

1.      Ujab and Takkabur

This is a major cause of hasad, just like the mushrikin, the jews had this takkabur and when they had this takkabur it led to their arrogance, led to their hasad. 
So actually what you could call their superiority complex. Superiority complex also causes hasad.

2.      Poor self-esteem

On the flip side, sometimes poor self esteem, thinking very lowly of yourself, that also leads to hasad. But the reasoning is slightly different: when a person has a low self esteem, they feel hasad with somebody else because they feel that that person makes them look bad.
They feel that ‘my worth is compromised by this other person’s gain’. That ‘I am weak, I am bad, and when she reads the ibarat then I do not want to read it after her because I will sound even worse’; they feel their worth, their dignity, their istad’ad (ability) will look even worse.
So actually they do not want to look bad. This is what you call inferiority complex. And when someone else is doing well they think: ‘why is she doing so well, I wish she was not doing so well, so that I would not look so bad’. So actually it’s the opposite way. It is what you would call inferiority complex.

3.      Enmity
And this can be very irrational. Sometimes a person can have dislike: ‘I just don’t like her’. Why? ‘I just do not like the way she looks’ or something. ‘She just rubs me the wrong way’. She rubbed you the wrong way, at the wrong time, and now you do not like her. When she is praised, jab then you do not like it. You do not like anything good happening to her.
So hasad can be irrational. You cannot find any reason behind it. There might be something but we cannot figure it out because it can be slightly irrational.

4)      Being of the same age, field, class, etc.

[Competing for same things/ Professional Jealousy]

Another major cause of hasad: often when you are in the same field, on the same level, in that case hasad is not between someone at a higher level and someone at a lower level and vice versa; it occurs between siblings, between classmates, between people of the same profession such as doctors and in the same department. That is, it occurs among people who are at the same level). You have hasad with the people you are competing with. At the same age group, at the same level because you are competing for the same things. This is called professional jealousy. And what happens is that you enjoy when someone else makes some mistake. You are happy when a student is scolded. That is hasad. When you want to make the other person slip, to make him look bad: that I was not the one who made the mistake, it was the other person.

 So when you are at the same level, the same playing-field, then there is hasad on a higher level.

And this leads to problems: problems in the classroom, at home, in the workplace when you have these feelings of hasad for one another because everyone is envying, competing for attention from the same source. So usually this is a cause for hasad when you are competing for attention, reward, dignity,status from the same source: There is one teacher and twenty students. There are one or two parents, and there are three or four kids.

5)      Love of Leadership

When a person wants authority, they want power. What they desire is that people listen to them. And if they feel that someone else is being listened to, they will feel hasad for that person. Why is she listening to that person and not me.

Now there are three friends—there are situations like this—one friend says ‘come to me’, the other friend says ‘you come to me’. When one friend would listen to the other one, the first friend would feel that why did she not listen to me; why did she listen to the other friend. These are scenarios, situations, how things happen in our everyday life, which become causes, asbaab, of hasad.

EFFECTS OF HASAD:

 Emotional Effects:

Anger:

When a person has hasad, that person also has a lot of anger. Why, because what they want is not happening. The other girl is getting that thing, all their plans are being ruined. They’re feeling bad about themselves; they’re feeling low about themselves, then they get angry with that person. So it builds anger.So these are the emotional effects. A person gets obsessed.

Mahsood →  The one on whom hasad is being done.

People get obsessed with the mahsud.

Saying of Hazrat Ammer Muawiyah (RA)

Hazrat Amerr Muawiya has stated:  ‘Of all the bad traits that we have, hasad is the most just.’

 That out of all the bad traits, all the diseases of the heart that we have, hasad is the most aadil, why, because it kills that Hasid. It kills them emotionally, spiritually, before it even reaches the mahsud. So actually, the one who is doing hasad, the negative effects of it reach him first, and the person on whom hasad is being done, the effects have not even reached him yet.

So actually, when we do hasad on anybody, the negative effects come on us, the other person does not get affected.  People get afraid of hasad, that may Allah protect us from the hasad of the hasideen. But actually, the emotional effects will affect the person who does hasad, and that person is going to be emotionally destroying themselves. He spoils his own life. He doesn’t affect anyone else’s life, he ruins his own.

Resentment:

When a person has hasad, he would want bad things to happen to the other person. That something negative happens; what actually happens is that the negativity rebounds and comes upon himself .All that negativity is not going to that person; it’s coming back to the person doing hasad.

So they have resentment inside themselves.

Tension, Anxiety, and Depression:

Then they’re sad. They’re sad, they’re depressed; there’s tension, there’s anxiety, there’s grief depending on the level of hasad. We are talking about deep-level hasad where sometimes a person becomes obsessed. When it takes over their life.

Makes one spiteful and malicious:

Sometimes a person acts like they’re morally outraged; they act like they’re very angry, but the root is that they’re having all this hasad towards another person.  And it makes a person spiteful; there comes irritability in him in his mizaaj(temperament)

A person who has had hasad throughout their life, you should see their faces after twenty years. The bitterness, maliciousness comes on their faces.  It affects their mizaaj, it physically affects them. It eats them up from the inside.

Lack of Motivation:

It causes a lack of motivation. This is the worst thing; it will actually demoralize you because all your energies are being directed towards another person. It will drain you emotionally, and you won’t work on yourself.  Your whole attention, your whole focus is on somebody else, that why did this happen, why did she speak like this—you’ll be sad, you’ll be depressed, you’ll have all these problems, and sadness and resentment. And all your energies will be drained, such that you won’t have any energy left to work on yourself. So it will actually leave you de motivated.  Your motivation ends; and this is ptobably the worst thing that hasad does to you.

Spiritual Effects:

Ruins own deeds:

Hasad ruins one’s own deeds. We do good things with such difficulty, and they are wiped out by the feeling of hasad. By acting on hasad, having this bad feeling, our good deeds are wasted.

In a Hadith, The Prophet (s.a.w)states that ‘Hasad ruins your good deeds just like fire burns wood’

This is like fire on our nama-e-aamaal(book of deeds). Our good deeds are burnt because of our doing hasad.

Hasid falls in the eyes of people:

Hasad is not hidden. We think that our hasad is hidden, but actually people feel it; people sense it. People are very intuitive, ad women especially. They feel what is happening behind the scenes; what are the internal dynamics. So they sense is, but what happens is that the person who is Hasid, he falls in the eyes of other people. You will far in your own eyes and in other people’s eyes.

Others’ angered by that person to extent of losing out on their love:

And sometimes in their hearts, if a person is so obsessed with their hasad, they will lose out, their own nature becomes so full of resentment, of anger, now other people’s love will also go down. Hasideen also lose out on  other’s mohabbat. So this  is also a major effect of hasad.

Grief and sorrow on Day of Judgment:

And on Qiyamat, the hasideen will have regret, grief and sorrow because of what they earned for themselves because of their hasad. That’s yet another spiritual effect.

The spiritual and emotional effects of hasad—just knowing those will make us not to do hasad.

HOW TO OVERCOME HASAD?

This is the hard part. Reading about out, understanding it, acknowledging it is one thing, and trying to overcome these feelings is another.

 Reciting Ta’awwuz

To say ta’awwuz. Ta’awwuz is to recite au’udhubIllahi min al  Shaitann ir rajeem. To recite it with understanding, with feeling.

Realize that these feelings are coming from Shaytaan, these are bad feelings, and that I seek refuge in Allah. And making dua that I don’t want these bad feelings, that Allah swt, take me in Your protection (panah).

Taqwa

Another is having Taqwa, fear of Allah. And actually, this is remembering death.

Hazrat Abu Darda (RA) states:

If you remember death often, there are two benefits in this:

One, your happiness will decrease. You wouldn’t be more happy than you should be.

Two, your hasad will also decease.

The more you remember death, the less hasad you will have.

→ Why do we have Hasad often?

Because we have takabbur and Hubb-e-duniya. Because of love for the world, a person has hasad. Even the deeni hasad has hubb-e-duniya within it.

There is hubb-e-ja’ in it—when we want people’s ta’reef(praise). And actually, the hasideen should think that am I doing this for the sake of people’s tareef, or am I doing it for the sake of Allah swt? If I am doing it for Allah swt, then it doesn’t matter if nobody praises me; it doesn’t matter if nobody acknowledges me; it doesn’t matter if nobody comes. Whether two people come to my bayan, and two hundred people come to someone else’s bayan; it wouldn’t make any difference to me because I am doing this with ikhlas.

So when a person thinks like that, that they are doing it for the sake of Allah swt, their hasad declines automatically. Because then their priorities are set in order.

→ Taqwa:

When you have taqwa, you are actually worried about yourself.  Your worry about yourself so much that you do not have time to worry about other people. That what is she doing, what is she not doing; what kind of praise did she get; what happened to her. Where has she reached, how much has she studied; how much have you studied…you’re not worried about other people when you have taqwa, you’re just worried about yourself.

So this is the sign of taqwa, that you are just worried about yourself. That Allah swt knows the state of my heart; that’s enough for me. I don’t need to know about anyone else.

Having Sabar:

Sabar is something, that whatever you do in it, there is nothing but benefit in that. When you have sabar, you say that this is the taqseem (distribution) of Allah swt’s; I wish I had what that person has, but I don’t have it so I will do sabr. This attitude  is what leads a person towards contentment over Allah(swt)’s Wish.

Being Raazi/ Content with Allah(swt)

Actually, the person who does hasad is really saying that he is not raazi with Allah swt.

Allah has a jismaani taqseem, maali taqseem, roohani taqseem. A human does hasad in these three things.  So actually, when you are doing hasad, you are saying Allah swt, you were not fair. I should have gotten this; why did she get it?

 So what you are showing is that you are not raazi. And the thing is; if you are not raazi with Allah, it means Allah is not raazi with you.

Litmus check for ‘Is Allah Raazi with us?’

A man from Bani Israel asked Hazrat Musa(as) that how do I know if Allah swt is raazi with me?  Hazrat Musa told the man to look into his own heart—that if you are raazi with Allah swt in your heart, then that means Allah is raazi with you.

So if you are not raazi with Allah, and you’re doing hasad, then it shows that Allah is not raazi with you.

So if you are raazi with Allah, anything can happen in front of you, a thousand people can praise someone in front of you. A thousand people can try to put hasad in your heart, and you will not be moved an inch. All right, he has his own ma’mala, I have my own with Allah swt. Saying ‘it is Allah’s Wish’ and then really feeling it, hasad really goes away very quickly. We just have to be raazi with Allah (swt), to be raazi with Allah’s distribution.

Benefits of overcoming Hasad

Hasad limits you; you keep thinking that why does she have this, I should have it…actually this is Allah;s distribution. If someone were to say that I am not such a good speaker. And if he/she just grieves about this all the time, that I can’t speak, can’t speak—they’ll be blinded to their other hidden talents.

So actually, when we overcome our hasad, and we say that I am raazi with what Allah swt has given me, and we do shukar and sabar—this will open up our opportunities. We will discover so many things about ourselves which we never knew. We discover, we accept ourselves. And this is all human psychology—a person should accept themselves. A person, when they accept themselves and are happy with themselves, that this is me---I am X, this is Y, that is Z---we are different people. I can never be Y, Y can never be me. I can never be Z, Zcan never be me.

We should learn good traits from one another, but we should realize that I am the way I am. And what Allah swt has given me, if I use that in good ways, then Allah swt could also be Raazi with me, just as He could be Raazi with Y and Z. So actually when you get rid of Hasad, it gets easier to accept yourself as you are. And when you do that, secretly you begin to discover your own potentials.   And your hidden talents come out. You open up your own opportunities; you make your own niche in life, your heart opens up; your mind opens up; and you begin to see new things. Hasad only limits you; it blindfolds you.

So on an individual basis, we have to overcome these obstacles we have. And sometimes, it’s strange; we have no azmaish (trial) in our life. One girl comes along, and she becomes an azmaish for us. Our day and night, our thoughts are all about this one girl. How many trials does one human put other humans through.

 You should just think that this is from Allah swt, and I am raazi with Allah swt. And you just think that this is an azamaish, a test, and I will do sabar, and Allah swt will be Raazi with me, and just think about yourself. What we do is, we get obsessed with that person. We try to over-analyze that person. We try to figure that person out! This is what we say: I’m trying to figure her out.

Don’t try to figure her out! If you try to figure someone out, your mind will be turned even more topsy-turvy.

People are difficult to understand, and women especially are irrational, emotional. We have a hard time figuring ourselves out. We don’t understand ourselves, how will we understand someone else?

So trying to figure people out; forget that. Try to figure yourself out; try to figure your own situation out; do your own muhasiba; your own fikr; we don’t have much time in this world.

We have very little time in this world to work on ourselves; we don’t have time to do islah of everyone else in this world. We think that she should not have done this; she should not have said this; leave it! That is between herself and Allah. She will worry about her own islah, you worry about your own islah.

So when a person does hasad, they think that they can fix somebody up.  Don’t worry about that, fix yourself up; fix your own situation up; and leave the rest to Allah.

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS:

Hasad is actually a disease of the nafs.

There’s a division between the diseases of the qalb, and diseases of the nafs, which we won’t go into, but this is actually a diases of the nafs, and for this disease, you have to do mukhalifat of nafs. You have to do the opposite. There are some diseases like this—when you feel cold, you warm up, you drink something hot, opposite things.

So in this spiritual disease too ,you have to do mukhalifat of the nafs. Whatever the nafs says to do, do the exact opposite.

ž   Praise when you wish to criticize

 When you wish to criticize somebody; you want to say why did you do this? Or you want to say that that person is this, this and this. Your nafs wants to criticize, but do praise instead!

This is very hard. The cure for hasad is very hard because you really have to go against your nafs. And our nafs are really strong. Our nafs are very, very strong. When you try to break your nafs, then you realize how strong your nafs is.

ž  Give gifts when you wish for loss of blessings

And when you wish that their blessings and naimat be reduced, give them gifts. Gifts make a lot of difference; this is a secret, the whole Western commercialization, and consumerism, giving gifts, Valentine’s day, Christmas gift-giving…this is in our deen too.

Hadith:Tahaadu tahaabu: Give gifts, it increases mutual love.

For  someone who asks that should we give gifts on the occasions of weddings, anniversary, etc. we say you should give gifts, anytime, every time.

Tahaadu → exchange gifts with one another

Tahaabu → you will increase in your love for one another.

So this is something in our deen that when you have a bad feeling towards someone, towards anybody; a very, very practical solution is to give a gift. This increases love; and when love increases, then nafrat (hatred) fades away by itself.

So one should make it a habit, that when we have a bad feeling towards somebody—it doesn’t have to be a big gift; it could be a small thing, something to eat,  anything—you give a gift to that person.

ž  Interact with them with humility when you wish to act arrogantly

When you have hasad for someone, you don’t want to act nice to them. You don’t want to act humbly with them. But you go against it; you act nice to them, you become sweet to them. You go out of your way to be nice to them; you go out of your way to be humble with them. Treat them with humility.

Let them go first. Let them sit first. Make space for them when they come. Stand up to greet them when they come. You feel takabbur towards somebody, you feel hasad towards somebody, stand up to greet them.

Go against your nafs. You see them far away, you think that I won’t say salam to her; if she comes this way and she says salam, then only will I say salam. You see her from far away, you walk over to her and you say Assalam o alaykum, how are you doing? And that is a way to get rid of this hasad.

ž  Dua for them when you don’t wish to do so

This is very hard to do, because this is private, personal. Make dua for that person. This is the best cure too. And this will not be sincere in the beginning, you will want to speak, but your tongue would not obey. You will have to make dua that Allah swt give him success in this world, and give him more in the future. Your heart will be pushing you; your nafs will be screaming, but you have to say it. After some time and effort, you will feel as if your burden has been lifted off; that your heart has been lightened.

Positive Thinking

Imam Ghazali (ra) once said:

‘If one hates envy and is ashamed that he harbors it, the person is not essentially an envious person.’

He is not essentially an envious person. So this is important to know; that if you hate the feeling of hasad; and you are ashamed that why is this inside me; then essentially you are not among the hasideen.

Objective

The objective is that we have to transform hasad into something beneficial. We have to make it a means of our islah. We have to do sabar on it, and when weare going against your nafs, we will improve in our spirituality.

When we overcome these obstacles, these feelings of Hasad, Allah swt will have mercy on us, Allah swt will be Raazi with us; and Allah swt will give us more opportunities; will expand us in other areas.

So this is something that we have to use in a positive way to develop our personality and not to use it in a bad way that we crush ourselves in resentment and anger, and drown ourselves in our self-pity and in our sadness. So we have to convert these negative feelings into positive feelings. And these are the ways to do it: to going against our nafs; making dua, and doing sabr.

Allah swt has put all these things in our hearts. And the point is that whoever does mujahida, whoever does hard work, Allah swt will give him more. Most of us are Alhamdulillah reading this in order to get closer to Allah and to be a better human being, and we’re all doing this with the niyyat of correcting ourselves.

When someone has a disease; he does qadar of his health then. He then appreciates his health. So we should also make this our lifelong goal in life insha’Allah to become spiritually healthy!